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Damage to the Environment is an Inevitable Consequence of Worldwide Improvement in the Standard Of Living

Damage to the Environment is an Inevitable Consequence of Worldwide Improvement in the Standard Of Living gGWeO
As technology programming, people nowadays pursue higher level of living. During this process, balance between economic and environment should be take as serious. However individuals always tend to economic selfishly. This essay will discuss whether damage to the surroundings is inevitable or not as below. First of all, develop of society would hurt the planet. Such as cut down the tree and remove the grasslands, in order to built house and entertain places. Those drive the issues of  greenhouse effect become worsen. The reason is that people already emission huge amounts of carbon dioxide, now without plants on one could transfer CO2 into Oxygen. Therefore a lot of environmental groups are propose a activities to plant trees and use public transportation more. In fact, those damage could be fixed by the some easy functions. First, in business level, use statistics method to estimate the Co2 emissions and limit it under evironmental bearing capacity. Otherwise, in personal degree, trip by public transportation is a key way to solve not only congestion problem also earth. Make a win-win condition between both side. In conclusion, I consider that destruction during development have chance to elimate. Just do a little effort by everyone, it could be big deal to improve the sustainable development. Meanwhile keep our live-standard.
As technology programming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays pursue higher level of living. During this process, balance between economic and environment should be
Did you mean "taken"?
take
as serious.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
individuals always tend to economic
selfishly
. This essay will discuss whether damage to the surroundings is inevitable or not as below.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, develop of society would hurt the planet. Such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the tree and remove the grasslands, in order to built
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and entertain places. Those drive the issues of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
greenhouse effect become worsen. The reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
already emission huge amounts of carbon dioxide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
without plants on one could transfer CO2 into Oxygen.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
environmental groups are
Consider using a past participle here: "proposed".
propose
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a activity" or simply "activities"?
a activities
to plant trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation more.

In fact, those damage could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by the
Did you mean "same"?
some
easy functions.
First
, in business level,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
statistics method to estimate the Co2 emissions and limit it under
Possible spelling mistake found.
evironmental
bearing capacity.
Otherwise
, in personal degree, trip by public transportation is a key way to solve not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
congestion problem
also
earth.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
a win-win condition between both side.

In conclusion
, I consider that destruction during development have chance to
Possible spelling mistake found.
elimate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort by everyone, it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the sustainable development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
-standard.

IELTS essay Damage to the Environment is an Inevitable Consequence of Worldwide Improvement in the Standard Of Living

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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