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School policies should be based as much on what employers want as well as what students and teachers want. v.2

School policies should be based as much on what employers want as well as what students and teachers want. v. 2
It is true that many students approach School or University in order to get chance to have platform that lead them to their prospective jobs. Similarly, employers too looks for specific talents from relevant colleges where they hopes for better requirement matching of students with current available jobs. In both cases, school need to provide balance environment and culture to grow students personally as well as professionally. Students are not only looking for technical or theotrical advancement in their study but also hoping for preparedness for industrial challanges. In such dilemma, it is better to have dual intent policies implemntation by schools. Generally, students and teachers, at school level, expect to have good academics only in terms of grades and no more than descent understanding in their major field of study. Anything more than just providing a quality education to students is sufficient for both teachers and students. On contrary to that, employers are not satisfied merely with good academics. At corporate level, other skills - communication skills, presentation skills - do not have less priority than that of technical skills. For an example, schools may have rigid syllabus over the past few years that just focus on mathematics and general science. When compared to real life technology, is a bit different and of basic level. Students by studying general science at school do not get broader ideas and failed to develop their skills relevant to prospective fields. And such talents come at corporate level, they faces very different and advance technology in the market and may not get fitted into the market due to lack of relevant skills. Only educational policies become inadequate when preparing talent for future rife with technological advancement. Mostly any corporate organization works in any primary field and also looks for talent which is relevant to their field. In such cases, students are not sure at school level about their long term visions. In such specific kind of requirements by employers, employers specific policy implementation may go wrong at initial level of education where common subjects of all fields are being taught. But while persuing major courses at University, such policy surely ameliorate chance of better employment opportunities. It can be concluded from the arguments provided that, in case of general skills and requirements policies for students and teachers do not contradict those of employers. But when it comes to specific skills required by industry, school can not afford to prevent policy of other fields and strict to specific one. Perception towards policy of student is no more different than that of teacher and may also inclined to similar thought-process.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
or University in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to have platform that lead them to their prospective jobs.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
too looks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
colleges where they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "hope"
hopes
for better requirement matching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
available jobs. In both cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
need to provide balance environment and culture to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
personally
as well
as
professionally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
looking for technical or
Possible spelling mistake found.
theotrical
advancement in their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hoping for preparedness for industrial
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanges
. In such dilemma, it is better to have dual intent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
Possible spelling mistake found.
implemntation
by schools.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in terms of grades and no more than descent understanding in their major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of study. Anything more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
providing a quality education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is sufficient for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. On contrary to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are not satisfied
merely
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academics. At corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
do not have less priority than that of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. For an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may have rigid syllabus over the past few years that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on mathematics and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
general


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
science
. When compared to real life technology, is a bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
by studying general science at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
broader
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and failed to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
to prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. And such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "face"
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and advance technology in the market and may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fitted into the market due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
become inadequate when preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for future rife with technological advancement.

The phrase 'Mostly any' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost any" instead!
Mostly any
corporate organization works in any primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and
also
looks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not sure at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
about their long term visions. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
kind of requirements by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
implementation may go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of education where common subjects of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
are
being taught
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
while
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuing
major courses at University, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
surely
ameliorate chance of better employment opportunities.

It can
be concluded
from the arguments provided that, in case of general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and requirements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not contradict those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required by industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
and strict to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
one. Perception towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and may
also
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "incline"
inclined
to similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-process.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay School policies should be based as much on what employers want as well as what students and teachers want. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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