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School children today take part in work experience sessions for short periods of time instead of attending school? Is this positive or a negative development

School children today take part in work experience sessions for short periods of time instead of attending school? Is this positive or a negative development Ry2Op
School students do seasonal job for small time period in these days apart from going to school. In my opinion, it effects negative on growth. Child labour is ban in whole the countries, still most of the school do seasonal part time job nowadays except attending school. There are most of the family who are poor, so that they go their kids on work. It effect children's study badly, because they don't attend the classes. That's why they get failed and they lose their precious year of their study. To do hard job in small age, it impact on babies' growth. Sometimes, this difficult work create a lot of physical health problems such as break the arm or leg and so on. Child labour is very harmful for children's career. Sometimes pupils start interested to earn more money. Therefore, they leave the school and begin to earn more money. Sometimes they adopt bad habits such as alochal, drugs and so on. For instance -- slum people make their small aged children bag in public places instead of taking their admission in schools. We usually see little poor children to beg on roads, parks and so on. In conclusion, to do work in small age is not good for children's career and their education. Other, it also effect on kids' growth. So children must take interest in study instead of work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
students do seasonal job for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
small time
period in these days apart from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion, it effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
on growth.

Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is ban in whole the countries,
still
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
do seasonal
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job nowadays except attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are most of the family who are poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they go their kids on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
children's study
badly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't attend the classes. That's why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
failed and
they lose their precious year of their study. To do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
age, it
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
on babies' growth.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, this difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical health problems such as break the arm or leg and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for children's career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
interested to earn more money.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to earn more money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
alochal
, drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
-- slum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
aged children bag in public places
instead
of taking their admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. We
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
poor children to beg on roads, parks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
age is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children's career and their education. Other, it
also
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
on kids' growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take interest in study
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay School children today take part in work experience sessions for short periods of time instead of attending school? Is this positive or a negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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