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Some criminals re-offend after they are released from prison. what are the causes and solutions?

Some criminals re-offend after they are released from prison. what are the causes and solutions? 8QgpB
There are numerous situations when criminals keep of committing crimes after releasing. This is meanly because difficulties with adapting and getting rid of criminal behavior. There are a couple of solutions to deal with the problem of re-offending. First of all, the reason why people releasing from prison commit crimes again is that they are conditioned by life in prison and cannot adapt to life outside. Moreover, if a person becomes an ex-convict, he is less likely to be accepted by society as well as unable to find paid employment and this, as a consequence, leads to re-offending. Another viewpoint is that criminal behavior becomes a mindset due to peer pressure from other offenders and can cause negative consequences. There are two effective solutions to deal with the re-offending problem. Firstly, if the government provides with training programs criminals in prison, this helps them to develop new skills so as to they will not have to struggle financially. Another method sorting out this problem is to develop the rehabilitation of violent offenders. These programs should tackle the social exclusion of offenders and help them to avoid anti-social behavior, which would help offenders make right choices in life. To conclude, if the government provided offenders with rehabilitation and training programs, we could reduce the crime figures.
There are numerous situations when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
of committing crimes after releasing. This is
meanly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
difficulties with adapting and getting rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
behavior. There are a couple of solutions to deal with the problem of re-offending.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
releasing from prison commit crimes again is that they
are conditioned
by life in prison and cannot adapt to life outside.
Moreover
, if a person becomes an ex-convict, he is less likely to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by society
as well
as unable to find paid employment and this, as a consequence, leads to re-offending. Another viewpoint is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
behavior becomes a mindset due to peer pressure from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
and can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. There are two effective solutions to deal with the re-offending problem.
Firstly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides with training programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in prison, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
they will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle
financially
. Another method sorting out this problem is to develop the rehabilitation of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
. These programs should tackle the social exclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to avoid anti-social behavior, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right choices in life.
To conclude
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
with rehabilitation and training programs, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime figures.
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IELTS essay Some criminals re-offend after they are released from prison. what are the causes and solutions?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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