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salaries point of view from two sides

salaries point of view from two sides KlEAw
Only a few in this world make highest salaries which considered to be a conflict point. People are divoted into two groups, the first one think that is benificiant for the country economy while the second admit that the gouvernment must make a limit for the salaries. However, the most effective way is the one which build a devoleped country. Increasing salaries can possibly make a diffrence to refrech the economy. Firstly, People believe that is going to attract skilled workers from other countries in particular the IT field such as network engineers and programers. In addition, it might low down the crime due to the fact that people will live in good conditions and peacefully. Lastly, having competition between employees is obviously would be for the companies interest since they will race for a better vacancy. On the other hand, others would like to have salary limits. In their point of view, living in the same conditions would make the country more safer for example, illegal immigrant will not be a problem for the gouvnment because they will not be attracted anymore. Furthermore, if the higher salaries in urban areas continue, the migration from rural locations will not be stopped sooner which can harmfully effect the economy. to illustrate, the recent statistics showed a huge number of immigrants from the country side looking formore valuable income which is noteworthy. In conclusion, in my view the best way to keep the country on the top(crest) is by offering suitble salaries which make the life more easier; however, better methods that suit the two groups should be taken by the government to make and end to this conflict.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a few in this world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
which considered to be a conflict point.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
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divoted
into two groups, the
first
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificiant
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy while the second admit that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gouvernment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a limit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
However
, the most effective way is the one which build a
Possible spelling mistake found.
devoleped
country.

Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
can
possibly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrence
to
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refrech
the economy.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe
that is
going to attract skilled workers from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in particular
the IT field such as network engineers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
programers
.
In addition
, it might
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
low
down the crime due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions and
peacefully
.
Lastly
, having competition between employees is
obviously
would be for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
interest since they will race for a better vacancy.

On the other hand
, others would like to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
limits. In their point of view, living in the same conditions would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Use only "safer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more safer
for example
, illegal immigrant will not be a problem for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gouvnment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not
be attracted
anymore.
Furthermore
, if the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in urban areas continue, the migration from rural locations will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
sooner which can
harmfully
effect the economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
illustrate, the recent statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a huge number of immigrants from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side looking
Possible spelling mistake found.
formore
valuable income which is noteworthy.

In conclusion
, in my view the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on the top(crest) is by offering
Possible spelling mistake found.
suitble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the life
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
;
however
, better methods that suit the two groups should
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to this conflict.
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IELTS essay salaries point of view from two sides

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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