Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sailing in the ocean with a pirate ship

Sailing in the ocean with a pirate ship 7J20b
As a “pirate” I wrote this roman to describe how my life went by on the oceans, robbing islands and collecting the “unwanted” Gold. So you may find interesting this imaginary life story of a young pirate named Pete. Pete will face much difficulties and hard challanges. Life goes by and he is realizing that he spent all his life on the ocean. Author Note: My name is Klerti Malaj and i am a young author who loves to write. This Roman describes the life of a pirate and it’s completely imaginary. CHAPTER ONE Burst into tears near the trash a old man named Billy found me. I was a 8 months baby abandoned by my biological parents. The old man gave me a heart warming look that made me stop the tears. While i was getting relaxed on his arms resting i fell asleep. He brought me to his home and kept me as a legal child.
As a “pirate” I wrote this roman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
went by on the oceans, robbing islands and collecting the “unwanted” Gold.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you may find interesting this imaginary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
story of a young pirate named Pete. Pete will face
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
difficulties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanges
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
goes
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
by and
he
The verb 'realizing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is realizing
that he spent all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on the ocean.

Author Note: My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Klerti
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malaj
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am a young author who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to write. This Roman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a pirate and it’s completely imaginary.

CHAPTER ONE

Burst into tears near the trash
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
named Billy found me. I was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
8 months baby abandoned by my biological parents. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
gave me a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
heart warming
look that made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the tears.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was getting relaxed on his arms resting
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
fell asleep. He brought me to his home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
me as a legal child.

IELTS essay Sailing in the ocean with a pirate ship

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Sailing in the ocean with a pirate ship