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Museums are no longer essential for learning because all the information is available on internet

Museums are no longer essential for learning because all the information is available on internet XnNpE
Nowadays, the internet is used by many people to find detailed information about history and culture. It is claimed by some that museum are no longer important because all the details information is available on internet. I personally totally disagree with this. The following paragraphs will discuss why museums are essential. To begin with no one can denied the fact that museums are important to feel and touch the historical artifacts. But on the internet only provide the image or video of any particular thing but it can not be more than this. For instance to gauge the size of the sword made in 19th century it is essential to see it in person rather than on internet. Secondly the information on internet may not be true, because some companies write or provide the wrong information on the websites rto earn profits. In the case of museums is is totally different scenario, the information is approved by the government and history experts. Moreover museums also buttress the economical growth. The fee that is charge by the museums in form of thickets and the fee of other facilities also can be used to revenue and the growth of the area. For example in 2011 the survey conducted by the group of college students found that around 14% of the money is come from historical places like museums. As it has been discussed in the upper paragraphs, I am totally disagree with the fact that museums are not as essential as they are in the past due to internet access. According to me I personally think that internet cannot provide the amount and quality of information that museums has strength to provide.
Nowadays, the internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about history and culture. It
is claimed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
are no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "details'" or "detail's"?
details
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available on internet. I
personally
totally
disagree with this. The following paragraphs will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are essential. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with no one can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "deny"
denied
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to feel and touch the historical artifacts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the image or video of any particular thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can not be more than this.
For instance
to gauge the size of the sword made in 19th century it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it in person
rather
than on internet.
Secondly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on internet may not be true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
write or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the websites
Possible spelling mistake found.
rto
earn profits. In the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scenario, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is approved
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and history experts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
also
buttress the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth. The fee
that is
charge by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in form of thickets and the fee of other facilities
also
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to revenue and the growth of the area.
For example
in 2011 the survey conducted by the group of college students found that around 14% of the money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from historical places like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. As it has
been discussed
in the upper paragraphs, I am
totally
Consider using "disagree that".
disagree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not as essential as they are in the past due to internet access.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that internet cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the amount and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
has strength to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
.
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IELTS essay Museums are no longer essential for learning because all the information is available on internet

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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