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Some people argue that physical strength is the most crucial element to be successful athletes, whereas others say that sportspeople should have mental toughness to achieve more goals in their career.

Some people argue that physical strength is the most crucial element to be successful athletes, whereas others say that sportspeople should have mental toughness to achieve more goals in their career. R5nPV
Some people argue that physical strength is the most crucial element to be successful athletes, whereas others say that sportspeople should have mental toughness to achieve more goals in their career. I believe that in every single game, both physical and mental strength present two key elements for athletes to gain success in sports. On the one hand, to be physically strong constitute an important factor in sports. Most sports in the world need a lot of body movement. Sports players have to undergo vigorous training to be more flexible and durable. For instance, in swimming, in order to finish the track, especially if it is a 1500 meter swim competition, athletes require to have a high quality of muscular strength, such as their stamina, durability, agility, and so on. Having good physical health can also help sportsmen avoid injuries after exerting enormous strength. And it might also create safety sport careers for people in sports, including sport stars. On the other hand, a lot of agreements think that besides muscular strength, mental health is also one of the factors that play an crucial role in sports. In competitive sports, athletes are often under pressure from spectators, coaches, teammates, and even the scoreboard. These problems will become worse and worse if they are in the losing team. And with anxiety, lack of confident, sportsmen cannot reach to their most impressive form, resulting in not only lose the match, but also make their career out of the planned track. Training to keep cool, have concentration, avoid anxiety under pressure will help sports players participate in the match in their best forms. For example, in football, there are lots of matches which has the team losing in the first half, won the game. All the famous stars in football said that having mental preparation before the match is crucial with them since it is one of the most important keys to have their impeccable forms in the match. In conclusion, although muscular strength presents an important factor in sports, athletes must also need to be strong-minded people in order to make breakthroughs and move further in their sports career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that physical
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strength
is the most crucial element to be successful
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athletes
, whereas others say that sportspeople should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
toughness to achieve more goals in their
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career
. I believe that in every single game, both physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
present two key elements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
to gain success in sports.

On the one hand, to be
physically
strong constitute an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
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sports
. Most
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sports
in the world need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
body movement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo vigorous training to be more flexible and durable.
For instance
, in swimming, in order to finish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
,
especially
if it is a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "1500-meter"
1500 meter
swim competition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
require to have a high quality of muscular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
, such as their stamina, durability, agility, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical health can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
sportsmen avoid injuries after exerting enormous
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strength
. And it might
also
create safety
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sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
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sports
, including
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sport
stars.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
agreements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
besides
muscular
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strength
,
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mental
health is
also
one of the factors that play
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial role in
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sports
. In competitive
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sports
,
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athletes
are
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often
under pressure from spectators, coaches, teammates, and even the scoreboard. These problems will become worse and worse if they are in the losing team. And with anxiety, lack of confident, sportsmen cannot reach to their most impressive form, resulting in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
out of the planned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. Training to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cool, have concentration, avoid anxiety under pressure will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
in their best forms.
For example
, in football, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
which has the team losing in the
first
half, won the game. All the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars in football said that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
preparation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
is crucial with them since it is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
keys to have their impeccable forms in the match.

In conclusion
, although muscular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
presents an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
need to be strong-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
breakthroughs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
further
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that physical strength is the most crucial element to be successful athletes, whereas others say that sportspeople should have mental toughness to achieve more goals in their career.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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