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Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. np1E
These days, teenagers are suffering from pressure given by other factors than former generations. I think parental pressure are giving too much stress to teens and competitive society provides too much burden for youngsters. This essay will discuss why modern students are more stressful than those of former generations. Firstly, parents are giving too much stress to their children that they need to go to one of the most famous universities in the world, such as Havard University, Cambridge University, and Cornell University. Adults make students to study more and don’t permit them to do their hobbies which makes young people feel they don’t have freedom. For instance, middle and high schoolers in Korea answered that 81% of their stress come from their parental pressure making them study. And it was announced that stress that comes from their grade because if they get low score, they will need to go more academies by their parents. Furthermore, The competitive society for going to the famous university is deepening. To raise their score, students need to go more academies and study 6~12 hours a day. They would be exhausted, but they can sleep just 3~4 hours a day. Then their stress will increase. In conclusion, parents are giving too much stress to their offspring and the society is becoming more and more competitive. Freedom and doing some hobbies is good for youngsters’ health. I think the health of teens is the most important thing and we need to make solutions to solve this problem.
These days,
teenagers
are suffering from pressure
given
by other factors than former generations. I
think
parental pressure are giving too
much
stress
to teens and competitive society provides too
much
burden for youngsters. This essay will discuss why modern students are more stressful than those of former generations.

Firstly
, parents are giving too
much
stress
to their children that they
need
to go to one of the most
famous
universities
in the world, such as
Havard
University
, Cambridge
University
, and Cornell
University
. Adults
make
students to study more and don’t permit them to do their hobbies which
makes
young
people
feel they don’t have freedom.
For instance
, middle and high schoolers in Korea answered that 81% of their
stress
come
from their parental pressure making them study. And it
was announced
that
stress
that
comes
from their grade
because
if they
get
low score, they will
need
to go more academies by their parents.

Furthermore
, The competitive society for going to the
famous
university
is deepening. To raise their score, students
need
to go more academies and study 6~12 hours a day. They would
be exhausted
,
but
they can sleep
just
3~4 hours a day. Then their
stress
will increase.

In conclusion
, parents are giving too
much
stress
to their offspring and the society is becoming more and more competitive. Freedom and doing
some
hobbies is
good
for youngsters’ health. I
think
the health of teens is the most
important
thing and
we
need
to
make
solutions to solve this problem.
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IELTS essay Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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