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Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 5
Some people argue that skilled and knowledgeable people from developing countries should get more opportunities by developed countries. While I believe that it may solve many problems, such as unemployment in those countries. On the one hand, the advent of globalization, many people have approached towards the wealthy countries rather than being unemployed in their own countries, for instance, Japan, Australia, and Canada now are allowing skilful workers in their countries in terms of job visa. Consequently, it helps both countries to stimulate economic growth, moreover, makes the strong relationship bridge between two countries. Furthermore, as work opportunities improve, the crime rate will fall in poor countries, which may lead them to earn reputation around the world. On the other hand, granting employees from unprivileged nations will assist to develop the economic rise, as well as, they can use their knowledge in different sectors, namely, management, engineering, and construction. For example, Google and many renowned companies recruit employees from different countries who contribute to their company’s profit and reputation. Sundar Pichai, is an Indian American business executive and the chief executive officer of Alphabet Inc, and its subsidiary Google LLC. In addition, it also benefited to know diverse cultures and ethical values that removes cultural gap between human beings. In conclusion, trained employees not only beneficial for their own country but also create values about their country to the outside world. From my point of view, unemployment is one of the vital issues in developing countries, and it can be solved somehow by sending experienced people to rich countries.
Some
people
argue that skilled and knowledgeable
people
from developing
countries
should
get
more opportunities by developed
countries
. While I believe that it may solve
many
problems, such as unemployment in those countries.

On the one hand, the advent of globalization,
many
people
have approached towards the wealthy
countries
rather
than
being unemployed
in their
own
countries
,
for instance
, Japan, Australia, and Canada
now
are allowing
skilful
workers in their
countries
in terms of job visa.
Consequently
, it
helps
both
countries
to stimulate economic growth,
moreover
,
makes
the strong relationship bridge between two
countries
.
Furthermore
, as work opportunities
improve
, the crime rate will fall in poor
countries
, which may lead them to earn reputation around the world.

On the other hand
, granting employees from unprivileged nations will assist to develop the economic rise,
as well
as, they can
use
their knowledge in
different
sectors,
namely
, management, engineering, and construction.
For example
, Google and
many
renowned
companies
recruit employees from
different
countries
who contribute to their
company
’s profit and reputation.
Sundar
Pichai
, is an Indian American business executive and the chief executive officer of Alphabet Inc, and its subsidiary Google LLC.
In addition
, it
also
benefited to know diverse cultures and ethical values that removes cultural gap between human beings.

In conclusion
, trained employees not
only
beneficial for their
own
country
but
also
create values about their
country
to the outside world. From my point of view, unemployment is one of the vital issues in developing
countries
, and it can
be solved
somehow by sending experienced
people
to rich
countries
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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