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A company has announced that wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages if this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v.2

A company has announced that wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages if this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 2
According to this subject I want to mention a famous proverb that says “every coin has to side” build a factory near my community also the same has some advantages and disadvantages, at the first, I want talk about advantages for example: job opportunity, economics boost. On the other hand, when they build a company near my community. It has some disadvantages. For instance, air pollution, traffic jam, crowded … but, I strongly agree to build a company in my community. First of all, I would like to talk about economic boost when a company build near my community I must say it is a chance for my people to find new opportunities like jobs it is the most important thing. However, all my people live in difficult economic conditions like, jobless, social problem. All in all, back to the jobless and I believe that we should help government or private company to build a factory near my community. so, I support this statement that build a company near my community. Second, when they build a company near my community. So, I strongly support that and I have my reasons. At the first, build a company near my community it helps my people have a great live with a shiny future with their family. so, they can work and make more money and build their community and solve some social problem like, help for poor people, build hospital, make new school. Therefore, we call this procedure economic cycle. So, I prefer to build company near my community and I believe it is really helpful for my community. Last but not least, it is interesting if, they build two or three company near my community. Due to, we can have an advanced community or we can have more train, bus, tram, metro, big stadium, lux cars. On the other hand, it has some disadvantages for example: air pollution, population and traffic jams. But, I strongly support that statement “build a company near my community” as I mentioned at the first line, when they build a company we can have money and we can spend and build big stadiums for football, big salon for opera music. For these reasons I prefer to build a company near my community. To summarize, I prefer to build a company near my community. On the other hand, I know that it has some disadvantages like increase of population, traffic jams, greenhouse gas, air pollution. So these thing are boring. But, when they build a company near my community has allot advantages like job opportunity, economic boost, build big constructions. So, for last reasons I strongly support this statement that build a company near my community.
According to this subject I want to mention a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
proverb that says “every coin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
side”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
also
the same has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages, at the
first
, I want talk about advantages
for example
: job opportunity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
boost.
On the other hand
, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
For instance
, air pollution, traffic jam, crowded …
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in my community.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
boost when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say it is a chance for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find new opportunities like jobs it is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing.
However
, all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions like, jobless, social problem. All in all, back to the jobless and I believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my community.

Second, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
that and I have my reasons. At the
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a shiny future with their family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they can work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social problem like,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
hospital,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new school.
Therefore
, we call this procedure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
cycle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and I believe it is
really
helpful for my community.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is interesting if, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Due to, we can have an advanced
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
community or
we can have more train, bus, tram, metro,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
stadium, lux cars.
On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
for example
: air pollution, population and traffic jams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
that statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community”
as I mentioned at the
first
line, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
we can have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
we can spend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
stadiums for football,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
salon for opera music. For these reasons I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my community.

To summarize
, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
On the other hand
, I know that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like increase of population, traffic jams, greenhouse gas, air pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "this thing" or "these things"?
these thing
are boring.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
has
Use past participle here: "allotted".
allot
advantages like job opportunity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
boost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
constructions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for last reasons I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
84Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay A company has announced that wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages if this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
449 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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