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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree/disagree? v.7

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 7
Affluent nations regularly give money to underdeveloped countries, yet it does not resolve poverty. Hence, some people assert that rich nations ought to give other types of help to the impoverished countries as opposed to giving financial support. I agree to this viewpoint to a moderate extent. There are several ways the wealthy nations can support the poor countries in order to help them find solution to poverty with exception of money. Firstly, provision of infrastructures. These are basic physical facilities and organizational structures such as buildings, roads and electricity. For instance, countries like France and Germany had in the past build numerous industries and hospitals in over 50 sub-saharan African nations. As a result, jobs are created to the people thereby alleviating their suffering. Secondly, the high-income countries could also provide scholarships to these poverty-stricken nation. For example, the Chevening awards program from United Kingdom has over the years offered and still offering scholarships to greater number of students from Africa. consequently, developing future leaders who will revert and help build their own nations. This examples illustrates how other ways excluding money can help abate poverty. In spite of this, I feel that giving financial support is also important in helping the third world countries move out of poverty. For instance, China on a several occasions, has supported Cameroon financially. This has helped to stabilize their economy and also play some part in fighting insurgency. Although this action may seem insignificant but it has actually assisted in one way or the other. In conclusion, I agree that there are other kinds of support which the developed countries can give to the poor nation in order to assist them fight poverty such as provision of infrastructure and scholarships. however, I also believe that giving financial aid is also significant.
Affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
regularly
give money to underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
yet
it does not resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
ought to give other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as opposed to giving financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this viewpoint to a moderate extent.

There are several ways the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them find solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
with
The usual collocation for "exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
money.
Firstly
, provision of infrastructures. These are basic physical facilities and organizational structures such as buildings, roads and electricity.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like France and Germany had in the past build numerous industries and hospitals in over 50
Possible spelling mistake found.
sub-saharan
African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
As a result
, jobs
are created
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
thereby alleviating their suffering.
Secondly
, the high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
also
provide scholarships to these poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chevening
awards program
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the United Kingdom".
from United Kingdom
has over the years offered and
still
offering scholarships to greater number of students from Africa.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, developing future leaders who will revert and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
examples
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
how other ways excluding money can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
abate poverty.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, I feel that giving financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in helping the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
For instance
, China on a several occasions, has supported Cameroon
financially
. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to stabilize their economy and
also
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part in fighting insurgency. Although this action may seem insignificant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has actually assisted in one way or the other.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are other kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
which the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can give to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in order to assist them fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
such as provision of infrastructure and scholarships.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, I
also
believe that giving financial aid is
also
significant.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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