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Research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes when set free. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve the problem? v.1

Research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes when set free. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve the problem? v. 1
It is said that after being released from prison, the increasing number of criminals continues to re-offend. There are a variety of reasons why this is a case and effective measures need to be taken urgently to tackle the phenomenon. There are two primary reasons why people who just finish serving prison sentences conduct criminal activities again. Firstly, criminals often find it difficult to reintegrate into the community after they have already paid for the previous crime. This is due to general population usually having negative perception of those who had broken the law in the past and citizens would assume that it is impossible for such individuals to become a productive member of society despite the fact that these ex-offenders already received the punishment. Secondly, after staying in the prison for an extended period of time, criminals’ skills and qualifications in order to seek a decent job have been deteriorating at an alarming rate. As a result, they could not find a job position to make a living coupled with the fact that no one wants to recruit someone who has criminal records. However, the government and the society should work together in terms of introducing possible steps to address the problem. The first solution could be that the media should constantly promote certain campaigns to raise public awareness of prison doing a good job to correct the mistakes of criminals and so that the inhabitants will gradually accept the view that ex-offenders will no longer conduct criminal activities that might threat other people’s life. The second solution is that the government should spend a sizable proportion of public funding on organizing educational programs and vocational courses in prison. Therefore, those who have been locked up in prison will have countless opportunities to upgrade their skills and experience to meet the expectations of the future employers which are willing to hire criminals to work for them. In conclusion, repeat offenders have been increasing in recent years due to several reasons. However, this problem can be solved by the collaboration between the government and society as a whole.
It
is said
that after
being released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
continues to re-offend. There are a variety of reasons why this is a case and effective measures need to
be taken
urgently
to tackle the phenomenon.

There are two primary reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finish serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities again.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to reintegrate into the community after they have already paid for the previous crime. This is due to general population
usually
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
perception of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had broken the law in the past and citizens would assume that it is impossible for such individuals to become a productive member of society despite the fact that these ex-offenders already received the punishment.
Secondly
, after staying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for an extended period of time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications in order to seek a decent job have been deteriorating at an alarming rate.
As a result
, they could not find a job position to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living coupled with the fact that no one wants to recruit someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
records.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the society should work together in terms of introducing possible steps to address the problem. The
first
solution could be that the media should
constantly
promote certain campaigns to raise public awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
doing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job to correct the mistakes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the inhabitants will
gradually
accept the view that ex-offenders will no longer conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities that might threat other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. The second solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend a sizable proportion of public funding on organizing educational programs and vocational courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Therefore
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been locked
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
will have countless opportunities to upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the expectations of the future employers which are willing to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to work for them.

In conclusion
, repeat offenders have been increasing in recent years due to several reasons.
However
, this problem can
be solved
by the collaboration between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society as a whole.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes when set free. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve the problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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