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Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? qBDa
In this era pushed by technologies like the Internet, more and more companies are willing to take meetings and training places online. In this essay, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will be agreed upon by analysis. On the one hand, online meetings and training have many positive benefits for enterprises. Firstly, companies can get away from the restraint of physical locations to recruit new hires who do not live in the same place as office sites. For example, in this virtual world, new employees can receive online training from teachers from another place, as well as experts from different places can take an Internet conference together for discussing solutions to address some serious issues. Secondly, online meetings and training have a cost-effective characteristic. Many enterprises can save a huge amount of budget through these new ways of working and learning, which cut the expense of traveling and getting accommodations. Thirdly, this online working method can lead employees to work flexibly and productively. More and more employees can utilize some no-busy time to attend recorded lessons on the company’s internal network. This can help employees complete prioritized jobs at the right time. On the other hand, more and more meetings and training have been taken without this face-to-face method，which may pose a threat to enterprise culture. This will shake the fundamental of corporate cultures such as unity, team-play spirit, loyalty. As a result, the company’s values may not be followed, employees are willing to pursue their own interests, but not devote their knowledge and skills to organizations where they work in. However, companies that pursue maximizing the interest are able to overcome those above drawbacks led by online business activities. For example, orientation training must be taken in a face-to-face way of gaining a sense of belonging. In conclusion, I strongly agree that every company should conform to this kind of tendency of online meeting and training.
In this era pushed by technologies like the Internet, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are willing to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In this essay, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
upon by analysis.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits for enterprises.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the restraint of physical locations to recruit new hires who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as office sites.
For example
, in this virtual world, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
from teachers from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
as well
as experts from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can take an Internet conference together for discussing solutions to address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious issues.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
have a cost-effective characteristic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
enterprises can save a huge amount of budget through these new ways of working and learning, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the expense of traveling and getting accommodations.
Thirdly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
working method can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to work
flexibly
and
productively
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can utilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
no-busy time to attend recorded lessons on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
internal network. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
complete prioritized jobs at the right time.

On the other hand
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
have
been taken
without this face-to-face
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "method, which".
method，which
may pose a threat to enterprise culture. This will shake the fundamental of corporate cultures such as unity, team-play spirit, loyalty.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
values may not
be followed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are willing to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not devote their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to organizations where they work in.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that pursue maximizing the interest are able to overcome those above drawbacks led by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business activities.
For example
, orientation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
Consider replacing "in a face-to-face way" with the adverb for "face-to-face"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a face-to-face way
of gaining a sense of belonging.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should conform to this kind of tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.

IELTS essay Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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