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Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. Vqn6
Some people believe that artists do not earn a decent salary and hence they should receive some financial help from the government so that it is easier for them to continue with their jobs. I disagree with this statement because artists nowadays receive help from many non-profit organisations and also because technology has made it easier for them to get recognised globally. Creative people these days receive a lot of help from companies which believe in preserving art and nature. These organisations provide financial help to any person who has genuine talent in the field of art. They even provide career opportunities to them and market their work and ideas across the world. For example, the Global Art organisation in the UK provides a medium to help people who are interested in creating new art and preserving the existing one for the society. Consequently, there is no need for the government to fund them separately. Artists have also started receiving global recognition due to the advent of technology. The use of various visual media and advanced creative software has made it easier for them to create better design and sell them internationally. Since the financial dealing is done with people from across the world these artists can earn in international currency directly from their homes. These days, people’s love for abstract paintings and sculptures are on the rise and they can be sold to anyone by simply video conferencing with the customer anywhere. Therefore, as artists are earning in different currencies it is not necessary for the government to fund them anymore. To conclude, there is no need for the government to support the artists financially any longer because there are many art loving organisations that willingly support them. At the same time, due to worldwide marketing they have started being recognized by many people and hence it is easier for them to sell their work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
do not earn a decent salary and
hence
they should receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for them to continue with their jobs. I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
nowadays receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-profit
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
technology has made it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
globally.

Creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which believe in preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and nature. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
provide financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to any person who has genuine talent in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. They even provide career opportunities to them and market their work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
across the world.
For example
, the Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
in the UK provides a medium to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are interested
in creating new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and preserving the existing one for the society.
Consequently
, there is no need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to fund them
separately
.

Artists have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
receiving global recognition due to the advent of technology. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of various visual media and advanced creative software has made it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for them to create better design and sell them
internationally
. Since the financial dealing
is done
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from across the world these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can earn in international currency
directly
from their homes. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for abstract paintings and sculptures are on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rise and
they can
be sold
to anyone by
simply
video conferencing with the customer anywhere.
Therefore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are earning in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
currencies it is not necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to fund them anymore.
To conclude
, there is no need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
financially
any longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
loving
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that
willingly
support them. At the same time, due to worldwide marketing they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
being
Do not mix variants of the same word ('recognize' and 'recognise') within a single text.
recognized
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
hence
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for them to sell their work.

IELTS essay Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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