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Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? QNnw
In the era of technology, Due to internet various Official and Business events has become highly promiscuous due to its Extensive reach, Cost effectiveness and Time saving. I totally agree with the fact that meetings and training are happening more online due to the above mentioned causes consequently will replace offline scenario completely. The essay will elaborate on the points with examples. Firstly web meetings are cost effective due to the fact that most industries can save on traveling and accommodation expenses for their respective employees. All they require is high speed internet and A quite place. Secondly its a very time saving arrangement, Especially all the time dedicated to reaching the venue. Moreover, Has extensive reach, For instance with help of google meet people around the world can attend a Seminar in couple of clicks. It really made official work really easy going. In conclusion, Online workshops and Meetings are far Beneficial and Simplified. With time every one will reap its benefit and neglect the idea of onsite Meetings and Trainings due to above mentioned facts.
In the era of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to internet various Official and Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
has become
highly
promiscuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its Extensive reach, Cost effectiveness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
saving. I
totally
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and training are happening more online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the above mentioned causes
consequently
will replace offline scenario completely. The essay will elaborate on the points with examples.

Firstly
web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are cost
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that most industries can save on traveling and accommodation expenses for their respective employees. All they require is high speed internet and A
You used an adverb ('quite') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('place') instead of another adjective.
quite place
.

Secondly
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving arrangement,
Especially
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
dedicated to reaching the venue.
Moreover
, Has extensive reach,
For instance
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world can attend a Seminar in couple of clicks. It
really
made official work
really
easy going.
In conclusion
, Online workshops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Meetings
are far Beneficial and Simplified. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
every one will reap its benefit and neglect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of onsite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Meetings
and Trainings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to above mentioned facts.
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IELTS essay Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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