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Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a large collection of paper books. To what extend do you agree

Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a large collection of paper books. To what extend do you agree Yr3d
Libraries are indispensable to most of the students and people who keen on reading. There has been considerable changes in the facilities inside the libraries over the recent years. Recently, the technological equipmnet are increasingly introduced in the libraries. However, people claim that libraries should emphasize on updating technological structure instead of increasing the books collection. I partially agree with that and I think paper books have its merits to human. It is irrefutable that establishing more technological resources is beneficial to every individual as the modern technology provide massive convenience for human beings. People could access to any information with more availability from the advances of computer. A compelling example of this can be seen in the internet─The internet encompasses a wide variety of information and academic articles in diverse aspect such as science, education, and environment. In this case, the internet is not only handy for people in search of the needed information, but also more available than paper books. However, paper books do have positive influence on the society and individual as well. On one hand, people could borrowed the textbooks and academic papers from the libraries. This provides more freedom and flexibility for the students and people who in need of the books. On the other hand, reading is a fundamental ability to every citizen in the community. Since the arrival of sophisticated and up-to-date technology, fewer people are willing to read the paper books. Therefore, there is a tremendous drop in people's literacy and reading comprehension. In this case, paper books should be remained in the libraries. By way of conclusion, I reiterate my opinion as argued above. Even though technological create more convenience and accessibility for people. Paper books, from my perspective, is vitally importance as well
Libraries are indispensable to most of the students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who keen on reading. There has been considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the facilities inside the libraries over the recent years. Recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
Possible spelling mistake found.
equipmnet
are
increasingly
introduced in the libraries.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that libraries should emphasize on updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
structure
instead
of increasing the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "books'" or "book's"?
books
collection. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have its merits to human.

It is irrefutable that establishing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
resources is beneficial to every individual as the modern technology provide massive convenience for human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could access to any information with more availability from the advances of computer. A compelling example of this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
internet─The
internet encompasses a wide variety of information and academic articles in diverse aspect such as science, education, and environment.
In this case
, the internet is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
handy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in search of the needed information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more available than paper books.

However
, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the society and individual
as well
. On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "borrow"
borrowed
the textbooks and academic papers from the libraries. This provides more freedom and flexibility for the students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who in need of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
On the other hand
, reading is a fundamental ability to every citizen in the community. Since the arrival of sophisticated and up-to-date technology, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to read the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Therefore
, there is a tremendous drop in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's literacy and reading comprehension.
In this case
, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be remained
in the libraries.

By way of conclusion, I reiterate my opinion as argued above.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
create more convenience and accessibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, from my perspective, is
vitally
importance as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
well

IELTS essay Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a large collection of paper books. To what extend do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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