Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be major influence?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be major influence? 1lQN
People’s character depends on which factors or is there merely one factor that affect the personality is argued. This essay agrees with that various experiences may change the individual’s individuality. The essay will first demonstrates the why characteristic is not the only reason and then explains possible experiences that got powers on the personality and discuss how can they affect our character. First of all, Although our characteristic that we have since our birth have extremely effected our personality, when we consider the twin brothers, they can have different individuality. The reason why must be their different experiences. People learn from their past and use this wisdom in their future life. For example, A research has been conducted by Soviet scientists in the past expresses this situation in extremely different way. They grow the twin brothers in a room without allowing them to live different experiences and after a period of time, they observed they were had different individuality although they didn’t experience various experiences. Secondly, As far as I know, when humans face with a dramatical experience in their life, they can change their life-view even without they realize. This can be automatic because while their emotions take damage, their brain trying to absorb to save mental health and save the individual from other possible close events. For instance, When I had broken up with my 3-years girlfriend without expecting this situation, my trust feeling against to other sex has changed. Moreover, I have realized this situation 2 years later. In conclusion, people’s individuality has depended on lots of events that they face with in their both childhood and now. Of the people who get damage in their life, I didn’t meet with the person keeping protect personality born with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
character depends on which factors or is there
merely
one factor that affect the

personality
is argued
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the individual’s

individuality. The essay will
first
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "demonstrate"
demonstrates
Did you mean "why"?
the why
characteristic is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason and then

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
powers on the personality and discuss how can they affect our

character.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Although our characteristic that we have since our birth have
extremely
effected

our personality, when we consider the twin brothers, they can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
individuality. The

reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
learn from their past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this wisdom in

their future life.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
has
been conducted
by Soviet scientists in the past

expresses this situation in
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
way. They grow the twin brothers in a room without

allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and after a period of time, they observed they
were had


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuality although they didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
various experiences.

Secondly
, As far as I know, when humans face with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramatical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in their life, they

can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their life-view even without they realize. This can be automatic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while their

emotions take damage, their brain trying to absorb to save mental health and save the individual

from other possible close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
, When I had broken up with my 3-years girlfriend

without expecting this situation, my trust feeling against to other sex has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Moreover
, I have

realized this situation 2 years later.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
individuality has depended on lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that they face with in

their both childhood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
damage in their life, I didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with the

person keeping protect personality born
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be major influence?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts