Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? xen9
It is observed that working individuals do very less or no exercise while working, or in their spare time, and consequently, suffer from various health ailments. This is largely due to long working hours of these employees. However, this problem can be addressed by a shorter work day. Long working day results in little free time for employees. High number of working hours coupled with time wasted in commuting reduces the free time available to working population. As people have less spare time, they are unable to find time to exercise. For example, in India, workers employed in services sector typically have a twelve-hour work-day, if transportation time is included, and have very little time available for exercising. Nevertheless, this issue could be tackled by decreasing working hours. If companies adopt a shorter work day, this would increase the time available in the hands of employees for doing non-work activities like exercising. For instance, according to a study done by the Norwegian government, more people started exercising as they had ample free time, when it mandated a six-hour working day instead of usual eight hours. Hence, shorter working hours will enable a larger section of population to exercise more. In conclusion, unless working hours are not reduced, this situation will continue where due to long work hours, working people do not do enough exercise, and as a result, have various health issues afterwards. Therefore, it is recommended that either companies lessen the working hours on their own, or, the government should introduce a law limiting number of working hours to a bare minimum.
It
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individuals do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, or in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and
consequently
, suffer from various health ailments. This is
largely
due to long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of these employees.
However
, this problem can
be addressed
by a shorter work day.

Long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for employees. High number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
coupled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wasted in commuting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
population. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have less spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they are unable to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
For example
, in India, workers employed in services sector
typically
have a twelve-hour work-day, if transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is included
, and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available for exercising.

Nevertheless
, this issue could
be tackled
by decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
adopt a shorter work day, this would increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available in the hands of employees for doing non-work activities like exercising.
For instance
, according to a study done by the Norwegian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
exercising as they had ample free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, when it mandated a six-hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day
instead
of usual eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Hence
, shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will enable a larger section of population to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more.

In conclusion
, unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, this situation will continue where due to long work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, and
as a result
, have various health issues afterwards.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
that either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, or, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce a law limiting number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to a bare minimum.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts