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Renowned and successful sports professionals earn a lot more than people in other important professions While many people think that it is unfair a large group of people say that this is totally justified What is your viewpoint on this issue Give reasons v.1

Renowned and successful sports professionals earn a lot more than people in other important professions While many people think that it is unfair a large group of people say that this is totally justified What is your viewpoint on this issue Give reasons v. 1
Today, famous athletes receive their salaries with paramount figures which surpassed doctors and even lawyers income. Some people argue the legitimacy of this matter. However, other people asserted that sport professionals deserve their high salaries. On one hand, seasoned athletes salaries create a debate among public. Some people argue this issue and consider their payments as lavish and extravagence as well as a waste of money. Furthermore, it is thought that those money should be transferred to support careers that serve the community. Teachers, doctors and lawyers exemplified careers that present a countless services to the community as a whole. On the other hand, there are several reasons that legitimated the high professional athletes payments. One reason is that their skills are derived from a perseverant training from early years of their lives. Besides, the training consume a significant part of their time, which hinders the possibility of having another job to make a living. Another reason to be mentioned, sports professionals fame commenced early and faded after 10 years or less. After that, they have to count on the money they made to precede their lives. In addition, they are considered as a positive portray to a country in world championships. To conclude, I believe that the lustrous position of those seasoned athletes reached through a tremendous discipline to training as well as their perseverance. Hence, they should payed a rewarding salaries.
Today
,
famous
athletes
receive their salaries with paramount figures which surpassed doctors and even
lawyers
income.
Some
people
argue the legitimacy of this matter.
However
, other
people
asserted that sport professionals deserve their high salaries.

On one hand, seasoned
athletes
salaries create a debate among public.
Some
people
argue this issue and consider their payments as lavish and
extravagence
as well
as a waste of money.
Furthermore
, it is
thought
that
those money
should
be transferred
to support careers that serve the community. Teachers, doctors and lawyers exemplified careers that present a countless
services
to the community as a whole.

On the other hand
, there are several reasons that legitimated the high professional
athletes
payments. One reason is that their
skills
are derived
from a perseverant training from early years of their
lives
.
Besides
, the training consume a significant part of their time, which hinders the possibility of having another job to
make
a living. Another reason to
be mentioned
, sports professionals fame commenced early and faded after 10 years or less. After that, they
have to
count on the money they made to precede their
lives
.
In addition
, they
are considered
as a
positive
portray to a country in world championships.

To conclude
, I believe that the lustrous position of those seasoned
athletes
reached through a tremendous discipline to training
as well
as their perseverance.
Hence
, they should
payed
a rewarding
salaries
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Renowned and successful sports professionals earn a lot more than people in other important professions While many people think that it is unfair a large group of people say that this is totally justified What is your viewpoint on this issue Give reasons v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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