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Renewation of museum department

Renewation of museum department 0ADrl
The building plans below display renovation to a museum department. These plans show the redesign of the museum's internal space between 2010 to 2012. In 2012 the permanent exhibition space was much bigger after moving the visiting exhibition space. Also, after the entrance had been transferred, the new one opened into a much wider permanent exhibition area. This new entrance was on the north side but the old one was located on the east of the museum building. As a result of removing the entrance, a gift shop had been inserted. So visitors could buy gifts too. In addition, the new location of visiting exhibition area, between the employee space and storage space, imposed a smaller area on the workers. The museum building had certain changes in 2012. As a result of this renovation, the entrance was removed from the east side. Instead, a gift shop had been added to this side of the building. Also, the museum had a very wide permanent exhibition area because of transferring the visiting exhibition space. However, staff suffered from smaller space.
The building plans below display renovation to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
department. These plans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the redesign of the museum's internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2010 and 2012".
between 2010 to 2012
.

In 2012 the permanent exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
was much bigger after moving the visiting exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
Also
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
had
been transferred
, the new one opened into a much wider permanent exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. This new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
was on the north side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one
was located
on the east of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
building.

As a result
of removing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
, a gift shop had
been inserted
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
visitors could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
gifts too.
In addition
, the new location of visiting exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, between the employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, imposed a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
on the workers.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
building had certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in 2012.
As a result
of this renovation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
was removed
from the east side.
Instead
, a gift shop had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to this side of the building.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wide permanent exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of transferring the visiting exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
However
, staff suffered from smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
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IELTS essay Renewation of museum department

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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