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advertisements are really necessary for a company to sell its products and services.

advertisements are really necessary for a company to sell its products and services. YLD9j
Many people think that advertisements are really necessary for a company to sell its products and services. Many believe that they don’t need advertisements for their products to be successful. Advertisements can be in form of billboards or a television commercials. I will discuss both the views in the paragraphs below. These days many organizations spend a significant amount of capital on advertisements. Hiring famous celebrities and social-media influencers for promoting their products. These people have a huge fan base and when they promote any product, their fans think that he/she personally uses these products, and they rush into buying that item. Many organizations have changed their traditional ways of marketing and have adopted to different strategies. They have started giving vouchers, hefty discounts and referral cashbacks in order to attract the customers and boost their sales. For example, when Jio started its telecom business in India, they offered free services for one year with purchase of a sim-card which costs around Rs 100. With this strategy they attracted 100 million customers on their network in first 90 days. Today, they are having one of the largest user bases compared to any telecom operator around the globe. On the flip side of the coin, advertisements only show the positive side of a product. Most of the times they exaggerate the product so much, that people start believing its true and end up buying products which they don’t need. For example, my uncle bought fake weight loss products from a television commercial on “reduce fat by sitting home in 30 days”. On a final note, I am of the opinion that advertising is still a potential leader in grabbing attention of the buyers even though some people try to disregard it and it is the responsibility of every person to do ample amount of research before buying any product or service.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
really
necessary for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to sell its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that they don’t need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to be successful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
can be in form of billboards or a television commercials. I will discuss both the views in the paragraphs below.

These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations spend a significant amount of capital on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Hiring
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
and social-media influencers for promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a huge fan base and when they promote any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, their fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that he/she
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and they rush into buying that item.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
organizations have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their traditional ways of marketing and have adopted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving vouchers, hefty discounts and referral
Possible spelling mistake found.
cashbacks
in order to attract the customers and boost their sales.
For example
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
its telecom business in India, they offered free services for one year with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of a sim-card which costs around Rs 100. With this strategy they attracted 100 million customers on their network in
first
90 days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, they are having one of the largest user bases compared to any telecom operator around the globe.

On the flip side of the coin,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
Most of the times
they exaggerate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
believing its true and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they don’t need.
For example
, my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fake weight loss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from a television commercial on “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
by sitting home in 30 days”.

On a final note, I am of the opinion that advertising is
still
a potential leader in grabbing attention of the buyers
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to disregard it and it is the responsibility of every person to do ample amount of research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or service.
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IELTS essay advertisements are really necessary for a company to sell its products and services.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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