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religious and traditional festivals actual meaning

religious and traditional festivals actual meaning W8Ljk
Due to the fact that many people aren't aware the actual meaning of the traditional or religious feasts, they just seeks to spoil themselves. Personally, I reckon that this trend is common nowadays because of the decline of schools' and families' role. Firstly, in spite of the fact that many schools are entrepreneurial these days, they don't bear their responsibilities toward their students morally. Since numerous numbers of them are agnostic nowadays, they don't give any interest to teach pupils the traditional and religious values; therefore, new generation has lost perceiving actual meaning of special occasions. Furthermore, as plethoras of parents decide to live abroad nowadays, they find themselves obliged to enroll their kids in international schools. In light of this, the vast majority of abroad-raised children lose their identity unless was there a wise intervention from their fathers and mothers. Secondly, while school plays a vital role in teaching kids and polishing their personality, family is considered much more substantial influencer. Once oldest family members don't obey the instructions of religious festivals because they think it's old-fashion, newly coming members will inevitably follow their proceeding brothers path. Moreover, various societies practice certain rituals during this ceremony spontaneously, and they consider it as a routine. As any behavior lost the spiritual presence while practicing, its value would diminish chronologically. In conclusion, although some try to preserve their historical and religious events, the vast majority of people sacrifices it and seeks to maximize their pleasure during these days. Personally, I argue that schools and families out to make their best to revive abandoned feasts otherwise new generation will completely forget the actual meaning of these events.
Due to the fact that
many
people
aren't aware the actual meaning of the traditional or
religious
feasts, they
just
seeks to spoil themselves.
Personally
, I reckon that this trend is common nowadays
because
of the decline of schools' and families' role.

Firstly
,
in spite of
the fact that
many
schools
are entrepreneurial these days, they don't bear their responsibilities toward their students
morally
. Since numerous numbers of them are agnostic nowadays, they don't give any interest to teach pupils the traditional and
religious
values;
therefore
, new generation has lost perceiving actual meaning of special occasions.
Furthermore
, as
plethoras
of parents decide to
live
abroad nowadays, they find themselves obliged to enroll their kids in international
schools
. In light of this, the vast majority of abroad-raised children lose their identity unless was there a wise intervention from their fathers and mothers.

Secondly
, while
school
plays a vital role in teaching kids and polishing their personality, family
is considered
much more substantial influencer. Once oldest family members don't obey the instructions of
religious
festivals
because
they
think
it's
old
-fashion,
newly
coming members will
inevitably
follow their proceeding brothers path.
Moreover
, various societies practice certain rituals during this ceremony
spontaneously
, and they consider it as a routine. As any behavior lost the spiritual presence while practicing, its value would diminish
chronologically
.

In conclusion
, although
some
try to preserve their historical and
religious
events
, the vast majority of
people
sacrifices it and seeks to maximize their pleasure during these days.
Personally
, I argue that
schools
and families out to
make
their best to revive abandoned feasts
otherwise
new generation will completely forget the actual meaning of these
events
.
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IELTS essay religious and traditional festivals actual meaning

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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