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reflection about healing power of art and music

reflection about healing power of art and music MwDWo
In the article Healing power of art and music, professor Michale used three studies on three distinct categories of patients to show that music and art had a good impact on patients’s emotional, social, and well-being. It, in fact, provides me with plenty of advantageous knowledge about the aid of music and art. admittedly, I don't listen to music very frequently, but when I'm unhappy or depressed, it's one of the first things I turn to for comfort. The author highlighted why music has such a powerful impact on human mental health, simultaneously, explained why I and other people occasionally listen to music at sorrowful times. Another point worth mentioning is that the author claims that art may help people cope with pain, which astonished me because i never knew that before. Notwithstanding, I assume the author should provide a conclusion at the end of the speech that summarizes everything. overall, this is still an advanced article. When acquaintances around me get melancholy, I will advise them to utilize music and art to divert themselves from the agony and grief rather than sitting in the room and swallowing the misery.
In the article Healing power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Michale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
three studies on three distinct categories of patients to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on
Did you mean "patient’s" or "patients’"?
patients’s
emotional, social, and well-being. It, in fact, provides me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantageous knowledge about the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
admittedly
, I don't listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I'm unhappy or depressed, it's one of the
first
things I turn to for comfort. The author highlighted why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has such a powerful impact on human mental health,
simultaneously
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why I and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
occasionally
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at sorrowful times. Another point worth mentioning is that the author claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cope with pain, which astonished me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
never knew that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Notwithstanding, I assume the author should provide a conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the speech that summarizes everything.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, this is
still
an advanced article. When acquaintances around me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
melancholy, I will advise them to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to divert themselves from the agony and grief
rather
than sitting in the room and swallowing the misery.
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IELTS essay reflection about healing power of art and music

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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