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Reducing crime for the good.

Reducing crime for the good. lWRxQ
Crime is a serious and growing problem in most societies. Although many people believe that the best way to tackle this is to place people in prison for longer periods, others are of the opinion that other measures will be more effective. There are benefits of giving offenders longer prison sentences. Firstly, spending a long time in prison provides an opportunity for the prison services to rehabilitate a prisoner. For example, someone who has committed a serious offence such as assault will need a long time in prison in order to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend. In addition to this, longer prison sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a crime. However, some people argue that leaving people in prison for a long time means that they will mix with other criminals and so their character will not improve. One alternative is community service. This gives an offender the opportunity to give something positive back to society, and so it may improve their character. Also, the government could focus its resources on the causes of crime, which would lead to less crime in the future. In my opinion, it is important to look at alternative methods. Many countries have lengthy prison sentences, but crime has continued to increase throughout the world, so it is clear that this is not completely effective. That said, long prison sentences should remain for those who commit serious crimes such as assault or murder, as justice for the victim and their family should take priority. To conclude, there are good arguments for and against long sentences, so governments must continue to research the various methods of crime reduction to ensure effective policies are in place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is a serious and growing problem in most societies. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best way to tackle this is to place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for longer periods, others are of the opinion that other measures will be more effective. There are benefits of giving offenders longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
.
Firstly
, spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
provides an opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
services to rehabilitate a prisoner.
For example
, someone who has committed a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
such as assault will need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
in order to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend.
In addition
to this, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a crime.

However
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
time means that they will mix with other criminals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their character will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. One alternative is community service. This gives an offender the opportunity to give something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
back to society, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their character.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could focus its resources on the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, which would lead to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the future.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to look at alternative methods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have lengthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has continued to increase throughout the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this is not completely effective. That said,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
should remain for those who commit serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as assault or murder, as justice for the victim and their family should take priority.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arguments for and against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue to research the various methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reduction to ensure effective policies are in place.
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IELTS essay Reducing crime for the good.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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