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Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v.1

Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v. 1
Nowadays, the graph of offences raising gradually, most commonly it is increasing in the youth of our world within metro cities. There are several issues and measures regarding this topic which will be elaborated further with relevant examples. To embark on, there are many reasons from which few of them are as follows. First and foremost is consumption of toxic things like drugs bear cigarette and many more. Moreover, due to consuming this kind of poison one cannot has control on their mind and they commit crime which is sometimes small or big. For instance, they do robbery or many times rape, which gives very bad impact on society. Furthermore, our system of giving justice is very e weak and that's why the youngsters get more encouragement of putting crime into action. Secondly, the teenagers completed their academic studies, but they did not get their desire jobs, due to pressure of society and family for the earnings they committed an unlawful act. Focusing on the solutions regarding this issue are as follows. Former one is good sacrosane from the mentors and trainers from the age of juvenile. For example the families should learn them how to help others with better customs and tradition. The latter view is that the young people should get their desired jobs and payroll so that the youth cannot forget the right path of legality and always follow the good path. For instance, the government should manufacture new companies and give jobs to them so the economy will boost up and crime rates will reduce. To conclude, it is not possible by the legislature to demolish the offence completely, but they have to organise different events for the youngsters so they got stuck in it and can only follow good path.
Nowadays, the graph of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
raising
gradually
, most
commonly
it is increasing in the youth of our world within metro cities. There are several issues and measures regarding this topic which will
be elaborated
further
with relevant examples.

To embark on, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons from which few of them are as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
.
First
and foremost is consumption of toxic things like drugs bear cigarette and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, due to consuming this kind of poison one cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
control on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
they commit crime which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
.
For instance
, they do robbery or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times rape, which gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on society.
Furthermore
, our system of giving justice is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
e weak and that's why the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more encouragement of putting crime into action.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
completed their academic studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desire jobs, due to pressure of society and family for the earnings they committed an unlawful act.

Focusing on the solutions regarding this issue are as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
. Former one is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
sacrosane
from the mentors and trainers from the age of juvenile.
For example
the families should learn them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others with better customs and tradition. The latter view is that the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desired jobs and payroll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the youth cannot forget the right path of legality and always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
path.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should manufacture new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and give jobs to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the economy will boost up and crime rates will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

To conclude
, it is not possible by the legislature to demolish the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
completely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
for the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck in it and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
path.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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