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Recent development in medical science has proved the positive correlation of obesity with other health issues.

Recent development in medical science has proved the positive correlation of obesity with other health issues. MBeKe
Recent development in medical science has proved the positive correlation of obesity with other health issues. Increasing number of overweight people has created an alarming state for the World Health Organization because size of available medical teams is quite small but they have to deal with large number of COVID patients on one hand and on the other they have to resolve such critical medical issues arising from obesity. Thus, creating negative workload on paramedic staff. In order to reduce this problem, I strongly support the argument that physical sessions must be introduced in the academic curriculum, as these classes may have several benefits ranging from the development of strong immunity in our youngsters to their increased productivity and success. First and foremost, benefit of introducing physical sessions at schools and college level is strengthening the overall immunity of our children. Scientific Studies shows that bones may lose their strength without any physical exercise, due to the reduction in the metabolic speed of an individual. Moreover, such constructive sessions will cultivate a positive mindset in our society towards physical exercises and may help in increasing the number of athletes in our country. Since physical sessions may induce the spirit of sports, they are constructive for our society in terms of health, immunity and prosperity. Secondly, another lucrative feature of such classes is the reduction in workplace stresses. For students, it is extremely essential to adopt a healthy lifestyle having proper work life balance because it eliminates anxiety and pressure on their mindset. Korean researchers have shown in their studies that including healthy activities in normal routine of any individual brings positive energy to the brain. Therefore, they concluded that those individuals indulging in the healthier activities are usually the higher performer in Korean society. Whereas, those who completely rejects adopting them end up in having several psychological issues. Overall, I strongly support the inclusion of physical education in the academic curriculum because it is quite beneficial, particularly in terms of an increased academic performance and improved immunity. Thus, it may easily reduce the stress on our health sector through the cultivation of constructive lifestyle.
Recent development in medical science has proved the
positive
correlation of obesity with other
health
issues. Increasing number of overweight
people
has created an alarming state for the World
Health
Organization
because
size of available medical teams is quite
small
but
they
have to
deal with large number of
COVID
patients on one hand and on the other they
have to
resolve such critical medical issues arising from obesity.
Thus
, creating
negative
workload on paramedic staff. In order to
reduce
this problem, I
strongly
support the argument that
physical
sessions
must
be introduced
in the academic curriculum, as these classes may have several benefits ranging from the development of strong
immunity
in our youngsters to their increased productivity and success.

First
and foremost, benefit of introducing
physical
sessions
at schools and college level is strengthening the
overall
immunity
of our children. Scientific Studies
shows
that bones may lose their strength without any
physical
exercise, due to the reduction in the metabolic speed of an individual.
Moreover
, such constructive
sessions
will cultivate a
positive
mindset in our society towards
physical
exercises and may
help
in increasing the number of athletes in our country. Since
physical
sessions
may induce the spirit of sports, they are constructive for our society in terms of
health
,
immunity
and prosperity.

Secondly
, another lucrative feature of such classes is the reduction in workplace
stresses
. For students, it is
extremely
essential to adopt a healthy lifestyle having proper
work life
balance
because
it eliminates anxiety and pressure on their mindset. Korean researchers have shown in their studies that including healthy activities in normal routine of any individual brings
positive
energy to the brain.
Therefore
, they concluded that those individuals indulging in the healthier activities are
usually
the higher performer in Korean society.
Whereas
, those who completely rejects adopting them
end
up in having several psychological issues.

Overall
, I
strongly
support the inclusion of
physical
education in the academic curriculum
because
it is quite beneficial,
particularly
in terms of an increased academic performance and
improved
immunity
.
Thus
, it may
easily
reduce
the
stress
on our
health
sector through the cultivation of constructive lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Recent development in medical science has proved the positive correlation of obesity with other health issues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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