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Reasons why I want an internship

Reasons why I want an internship NWQxd
Although I'm a veterinary student, I don't want to be a student who only knows his/her specific field. I always want to explore and am eager to learn new things. I'm quite sure that I found my happy self when I'm teaching, talking with students and sharing my knowledge to others. I gradually started to know that teaching and helping people are my greatest passion and my biggest hobby. I want to give a hand to people who have struggles in speaking, want to share my knowledge, try and progress together with them by doing whatever I can for them. Since I have been into this field, one of my biggest goals is to work with an enthusiastic team. And I found out Team Vivian is really fit with all my preferences. I saw that this language centre is almost a year and half old now, providing Myanmar students with effective lessons and fair prices. I started to know this centre 9months ago. I often see team Vivian offering free classes, classes with discounts. I was more impressed and inspired the mindset of the team helping the students in this kind of tough time. And I can see the strong commitment, interest and helpful mindset of team Vivian through the posts. I always imagine that I could work as a part of such a great team. Fortunately, months later, I saw an internship opportunity post and I'm so happy to apply for an internship here. Because I can do not only my biggest hobby which is talking with people but also I can work with a very great team.
Although I'm a veterinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knows his/her specific field. I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to explore and am eager to learn new things. I'm quite sure that I found my happy self when I'm teaching, talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and sharing my knowledge to others.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to know that teaching and helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are my greatest passion and my biggest hobby.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to give a hand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have struggles in speaking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to share my knowledge,
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
progress together with them by doing whatever I can for them.

Since I have been into this field, one of my biggest goals is to work with an enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. And I found out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
Vivian is
really
fit with all my preferences. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that this language
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is almost a year and half
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, providing Myanmar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with effective lessons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
prices. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to know this
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
9months ago.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
Vivian offering free classes, classes with discounts.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was more impressed and inspired the mindset of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in this kind of tough time.

And I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the strong commitment, interest and helpful mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
Vivian through the posts. I always imagine that I could work as a part of such a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
Fortunately
, months later, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an internship opportunity post and I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to apply for an internship here.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I can do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
my biggest hobby which is talking with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
I can work with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
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IELTS essay Reasons why I want an internship

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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