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reasons of climate changes ielts task 2

reasons of climate changes ielts task 2 15w2N
Recently, our world is facing a very serious threat of climate change, and the biggest cause of this is human, and some people think that instead of taking measures against this change, they advise to adapt to it. I do not agree completely with this statement and this essay will debate why we must do something in order to prevent this phenomenon. Firstly, there are a lot of kind of people in the world and some of them can adapt to live with climate change however some cannot. Babies cannot withstand rapid temperature changes and can become ill as a result and even like babies a lot of alive. Increased levels of dissolved carbon dioxide in the air lead to acidification of the ocean, which in turn leads to the death of many marine life, the collapse of maritime trade, and other worse consequences. For example, according to a study by the University of Toronto in Canada, the increase in sodium in the river has resulted in the death of many fish. Secondly, adapting to climate change is not a way in order to survive. When people try to adapt, the situation will get worse and it will result in the death of people. Changing climate condition lead to increase of water in oceans, rivers and lakes and floods happen. People who live near the rivers face to be obligated to move to another place. For instance, according to Alberta university researches 25 percentages of people lost their homes due to overflow of rivers. In conclusion, we must acknowledge that climate change has already occurred, and we must devise a set of preventative measures to avoid the predictable worsening of the situation in the future.
Recently, our world is facing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, and the biggest cause of this is human, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
instead
of taking measures against this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, they advise
Did you mean "adapting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'advise' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to adapt
to it. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely with this statement and this essay will debate why we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do something in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this phenomenon.

Firstly
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of kinds".
a lot of kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cannot. Babies cannot withstand rapid temperature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and can become ill
as a result
and even like babies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
alive. Increased levels of dissolved carbon dioxide in the air lead to acidification of the ocean, which in turn leads to the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marine life, the collapse of maritime trade, and other worse consequences.
For example
, according to a study by the University of Toronto in Canada, the increase in sodium in the river has resulted in the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fish.

Secondly
, adapting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not a way in order to survive. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to adapt, the situation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse and it will result in the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
condition lead to increase of water in oceans, rivers and lakes and floods happen.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near the rivers face to
be obligated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another place.
For instance
, according to Alberta university researches 25 percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their homes due to overflow of rivers.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has already occurred, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
devise a set of preventative measures to avoid the predictable worsening of the situation in the future.
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IELTS essay reasons of climate changes ielts task 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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