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Reasons for applying the scholarships?

Reasons for applying the scholarships? aQQRV
I am determined to be the best doctor I can be, to be a person of assurance for the patient, to be confident in my skills and abilities to help the patient, and most importantly, to be the patient’s advocate and champion their health and well-being during a time when they cannot do it for themselves. I firmly believe it is the doctor, who has to be 100% committed and who has empathy and compassion, that makes the best doctor and can make the most dramatic difference in a patient’s life when they are most vulnerable. That is my dream, my goal, to be the that doctor a patient can truly rely on and to do my best to hone my medical skills and knowledge to stay on top of every possible medical option. Admittedly, it’s been 2 years already that Myanmar students can’t go to schools and universities due to COVID 19 and country’s political situations. Actually, studying abroad is my biggest dream ever but due to my family financial problems, I can’t study abroad unfortunately. Additionally, Japan is highly developed country not only in Asia, but also in the entire world. I am convinced that I can gain plethora of knowledge studying in Japan but I won’t be able to fulfill my dreams unless I was chosen. In IUHW University, I do not only expect to gain knowledge, but also to learn a new way of thinking. I understand that no two situations are alike, and many times a patient will present a myriad of symptoms that require a combination of approaches. I hope to be able to gain practical experience to learn how to work cooperatively with other doctors and nurses to provide the most comfortable experience for the patient.
I
am determined
to be the best
doctor
I can be, to be a person of assurance for the
patient
, to be confident in my
skills
and abilities to
help
the
patient
, and most
importantly
, to be the
patient’s
advocate and champion their health and well-being during a time when they cannot do it for themselves. I
firmly
believe it is the
doctor
, who
has to
be 100% committed and who has empathy and compassion, that
makes
the best
doctor
and can
make
the most dramatic difference in a
patient’s
life when they are most vulnerable.
That is
my dream, my goal, to be the that
doctor
a
patient
can
truly
rely on and to do my best to hone my medical
skills
and knowledge to stay on top of every possible medical option.

Admittedly
, it’s been 2 years already that Myanmar students can’t go to schools and universities due to
COVID 19
and country’s political situations. Actually, studying abroad is my biggest dream ever
but
due to my family financial problems, I can’t study abroad unfortunately.
Additionally
, Japan is
highly
developed country
not
only
in Asia,
but
also
in the entire world. I
am convinced
that I can gain plethora of knowledge studying in Japan
but
I won’t be able to fulfill my dreams unless I
was chosen
. In
IUHW
University, I do not
only
expect
to gain knowledge,
but
also
to learn a new way of thinking. I understand that no two situations are alike, and
many
times a
patient
will present a myriad of symptoms that require a combination of approaches. I hope to be able to gain practical experience to learn how to work
cooperatively
with other
doctors
and nurses to provide the most comfortable experience for the
patient
.
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IELTS essay Reasons for applying the scholarships?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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