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Every women should wear makeup? Do you agree or disagree?

Every women should wear makeup? Do you agree or disagree? raaQl
Every women should wear makeup, because women will be adorable when they wear makeup. Nowadays, you can watch on the internet sites. From teenagers to adults can make up themselves. Firstly, you might be hear this beauty save the world. Some girls don't like makeup or maybe they can't do it themselves. Women's beauty can see with cosmetics. Secondly, if one girl might be taste the beauty with cosmetics. After that, I disagree with teenagers, because their skin is very young to wear makeup. They have gorgeous skin. They don't need cosmetic products or surgery. Therefore cosmetic stores don't sell any cosmetics to teens. In conclusion, I agree with girls to keep up with makeup. Therefore I can make up myself in the house. If any girls need to cosmetics. They should wear makeup by themselves.
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "woman"?
women
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
women will be adorable when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
. Nowadays, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on the internet sites. From
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up themselves.

Firstly
, you might be
Consider using the past participle "heard"?
hear
this beauty save the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
don't like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
or maybe they can't do it themselves. Women's beauty can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetics
.
Secondly
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
might be taste the beauty with cosmetics.

After that, I disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their skin is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
. They have gorgeous skin. They don't need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
products or surgery.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
stores don't sell any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetics
to teens.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up myself in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetics
. They should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makeup
by themselves.

IELTS essay Every women should wear makeup? Do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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