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reading stories from a book is more beneficial to children than TV program or play video games.

reading stories from a book is more beneficial to children than TV program or play video games. NVYmq
It is widely believed that reading stories from a book is more beneficial to children than TV program or play video games. I strongly agree with this point view and will discuss the same in this essay On the one hand, there are several prominent reasons why people are in favor of reading stories from book is better, Reading books can help children not only acquire knowledge but also improve their imagination. The stories in the book will stimulate children's creativity so that children will learn more deeply the meaning behind each story. A particularly good illustration for this issue that Children can expand their understanding of wildlife by looking at books about animals. Moreover, children who often reads book will have high concentration and patience. As a result, children will be more focused in learning and patiently complete assignments in the best way. On the other hand, watching TV programs and playing video games are great way to help children relax after stressful school hours. However, without parental control, children tend to rely too much on this activity, resulting in children being active and leading to many health problems such as myopia. For example, if in an exam a child refuses to read books and study but only focuses on games or TV, there is a high chance that he will get a low score. Another important point which can’t forget to mention is that some channels and video games contain bad content and images which can affect children’s behavior, it can cause them to crime in the future. In conclusion, both argument have their own merits. However, I believe that reading stories from a book is more beneficial to children than TV program or play video games
It is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than TV program or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point view and will discuss the same in this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
essay


On the one hand, there are several prominent reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is better,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acquire knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
will stimulate children's creativity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn more
deeply
the meaning behind each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can expand their understanding of wildlife by looking at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
about animals.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
will have high concentration and patience.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more focused in learning and
patiently
complete assignments in the best way.

On the other hand
, watching TV programs and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Please check whether an article is missing: "a great".
great
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relax after stressful school hours.
However
, without parental control,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to rely too much on this activity, resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being active and leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as myopia.
For example
, if in an exam a child refuses to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or TV, there is a high chance that he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a low score. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point which can’t forget to mention is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
channels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
contain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
content and images which can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior, it can cause them to crime in the future.

In conclusion
, both argument have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than TV program or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
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IELTS essay reading stories from a book is more beneficial to children than TV program or play video games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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