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reading books is more beneficial than watching television

reading books is more beneficial than watching television 0wgoQ
• A research team at Tohoku University in Japan examined the effects of television on the brains of 276 children in a survey performed in 2016. Research indicates that the more time a child spends watching television, the lower the child's ability to reason with language. • So, instead of watching television more hours, children should be encouraged reading books. • Here are some of the benefits of reading. First, increase your knowledge, reading is the best way to gain more knowledge. When we read books, knowledge will stay in the head gradually, however, when watching TV, children only passively receive information through audiovisual, they will forget immediately. • A crucial cause for children's brain development is to improve the ability to concentrate and start forming analytical thinking. Because reading books needs to pay attention to all the details no matter how small to be able to understand the content and hidden meanings of the author. Therefore, when reading a book, it is necessary to concentrate high so that you can analyze the book. For example, when children read Conan stories, they need to pay attention to every detail, then be able to judge who the killer in the story is. • Following this, Children at this age have begun to have cognitive and physical changes that make them very susceptible to stress, so according to research from the University of Sussex, UK, 6 minutes of reading can make Reduce stress levels by up to 68%. It is known that reading has surpassed other leisure activities such as playing games, listening to music, drinking tea or coffee, and even watching TV. • And finally, fostering creativity and imagination When reading a story, children will draw pictures of how the story feels in their minds, they will use their creativity and imagination. to do that. Each child will see a completely different image in his or her mind, and that image will probably change each time he or she re-reads the same book. Reading also opens children to new worlds, real or fictional, that they have never known before. Immersing yourself in the content of a book makes your child imagine new experiences and scenarios that he would never have thought of. Children will be able to bring these ideas into play and use. Use your creativity to push beyond the limits of everyday life.
• A research team at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tohoku
University in Japan examined the effects of television on the brains of 276
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children
in a survey performed in 2016. Research indicates that the more time a child spends watching television, the lower the child's ability to reason with language.

•
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
instead
of watching television more hours,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books.

• Here are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
First
, increase your knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the best way to gain more knowledge. When we read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, knowledge will stay in the head
gradually
,
however
, when watching TV,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
passively
receive information through audiovisual, they will forget immediately.

• A crucial cause for children's brain development is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the ability to concentrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
forming analytical thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
needs to pay attention to all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to be able to understand the content and hidden meanings of the author.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, it is necessary to concentrate high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can analyze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
read Conan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, they need to pay attention to every detail, then be able to judge who the killer in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
is.

• Following this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
at this age have begun to have cognitive and physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
susceptible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
according to research from the University of Sussex, UK, 6 minutes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels by up to 68%. It
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
has surpassed other leisure activities such as playing games, listening to music, drinking tea or coffee, and even watching TV.

• And
finally
, fostering creativity and imagination When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will draw pictures of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
feels in their minds, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their creativity and imagination.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
do that. Each child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
image in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mind, and that image will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
each time he or she re-reads the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
also
opens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to new worlds, real or fictional, that they have never known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Immersing yourself in the content of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your child imagine new experiences and scenarios that he would never have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will be able to bring these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
into play and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
your creativity to push beyond the limits of everyday life.
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IELTS essay reading books is more beneficial than watching television

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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