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read stories from a book than watch TV or play computer games

read stories from a book than watch TV or play computer games r1ML6
The idea that it is better for children to read stories from a book than watch TV or play computer games remains one of the highly controversial issues today. I completely agree with this statement. In this essay, I am going to examine my point of view and then give my own opinion. First thing first, children can improve their imagination through reading books. By reading stories, children can create a vision and visualize all events described by words in the book. They will imagine their own worlds through the books, thus they can enhance their imagination and creativity. Meanwhile, this can hardly has in watching TV because TV already provides them full images and colours. Secondly, reading books also develops children’s verbal abilities compared to watching TV or playing computer games. Children will be exposed to a wide range of vocabularies and sentence structures when reading, thereby improve their writing skills. In addition, reading stories from books also improves children’s memories. When they read books, they must remember the character information, expressive nuances through the character's narrative, or the circumstances that form the lifestyle through each story. It may be a bit much, but gradually their brain will remember it all through practice over time. Like a habit, repeat it many times and they will get used to memorizing it right away. In conclusion, I tend to believe that the advantages of reading books are much more than watching TV and playing computer games for children because this activity is good for both their imagination and language ability.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is better for
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children
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from a
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book
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or play computer games remains one of the
highly
controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In this essay, I am going to examine my point of view and then give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

First
thing
first
,
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children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can create a vision and visualize all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
by words in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. They will imagine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
worlds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
thus
they can enhance their imagination and creativity. Meanwhile, this can hardly
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
in watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
TV already provides them full images and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
.

Secondly
,
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reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
develops
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children’s
verbal abilities compared to watching TV or playing computer games.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will
be exposed
to a wide range of vocabularies and sentence structures when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
memories. When they read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember the character information, expressive nuances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the character's narrative, or the circumstances that form the lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
. It may be a bit much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
their brain will remember it all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
practice over time. Like a habit, repeat it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
times and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to memorizing it right away.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are much more than watching TV and playing computer games for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this activity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for both their imagination and language ability.
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IELTS essay read stories from a book than watch TV or play computer games

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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