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Re-offending is common among criminals after serving their first sentence.

Re-offending is common among criminals after serving their first sentence. LBM6R
Re-offending is common among criminals after serving their first sentence. This can be led by a lack of support from their communities and a possible solution would be to create programmes to assist them back to society. It is certainly true that most of the minor delinquents commit crimes because they have nothing less to lose. Generalising, they usually have low income, unstable jobs and a few trusted people to help them through difficult times. Consequently, the punishment is not enough to convince them to stop offending. Moreover, sometimes being in jail even helps them since it assures a place to sleep and a meal to eat everyday. In addition, once they are released from jail they are back to their previous life and the struggle is still there. Consequently, they feel forced to commit again either because they have no resources or because they had a better life while serving the sentence. To make it more difficult, society has a stigma of what an offender is provoking a sense of alienation between criminals and making it even more difficult to reintroduce themselves to the community. It goes without saying that some solutions are needed. First of all, programmes should be created by the governments to help them to fit in the society again. Those programmes might include group sessions between prisoners about to finish their sentence and the ones who are already back to society with the aim of explaining what they can expect and how they can find help once they are outside. Furthermore, some apprenticeships and studies would be a great help in order to find a good job that would give them some more stability and a sense that they are part of the society. Overall, it is seen that offenders keep committing crimes after they are punished because of their low status in society and an inexistent support network. Measures such as giving some education or exchanging ideas with the ones who had been in the same positions are crucial to solve this problem.
Re-offending is common among criminals after serving their
first
sentence. This can
be led
by a lack of support from their communities and a possible solution would be to create
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to assist them back to society.

It is
certainly
true that most of the minor delinquents commit crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have nothing less to lose.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Generalising' is British English.
Generalising
, they
usually
have low income, unstable jobs and a few trusted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them through difficult times.
Consequently
, the punishment is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to convince them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
offending.
Moreover
,
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'being'.
sometimes being
in jail even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them since it assures a place to sleep and a meal to eat
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.

In addition
, once they
are released
from jail they are back to their previous life and the struggle is
still
there.
Consequently
, they feel forced to commit again either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no resources or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had a better life while serving the sentence. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more difficult,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has a stigma of what an offender is provoking a sense of alienation between criminals and making it even more difficult to reintroduce themselves to the community.

It goes without saying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions
are needed
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
should
be created
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to fit in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
again. Those
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
might include group sessions between prisoners about to finish their sentence and the ones who are already back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with the aim of explaining what they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
and how they can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
once they are outside.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
apprenticeships and studies would be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in order to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job that would give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more stability and a sense that they are part of the society.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
committing crimes after they
are punished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their low status in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and an
Possible spelling mistake found.
inexistent
support network. Measures such as giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education or exchanging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with the ones who had been in the same positions are crucial to solve this problem.
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IELTS essay Re-offending is common among criminals after serving their first sentence.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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