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Raising children is the most important thing an adult ever does. Do you agree?

Raising children is the most important thing an adult ever does. Do you agree? X7exq
Raising children is the most important thing an adult ever does Children's behavior can correct only adult. I completely agree with this opinion and think by if children from an early age educated correctly they will find their place in the future and between people can have meaningful conversation First of all if children are brought up properly from an early age, they will definitely find their place in the future. Also children do not know what they are doing in childhood. They cannot tell the difference between truth and false hood. In such a situation if the adults show the children the right way the children will be able to distinguish between truth and falsehood in the future. Also, if children are taught from an early age to respect adults, a culture of manner's property, to stay away from evil, to be kind to everyone and never to brag, children will surely become perfect in the future. And most importantly find their place. What children become in the future or what they do is all reflected in the upbringing given by adults. Secondly after children are properly brought up by adults, children will be able to have a nice conversation in public in the future. If they have a profession in the future, they will understand and how to treat people and respect them. Educated children think about what they will say in the future. They grow up not to offend people and most importantly, to be able to have a nice conversation. Such educated children are loved by everyone and most importantly, they are respected. So I would recommend that adults give children the right up bringing from a young age To conclude, I believe if adults bring children properly from an early age, they will surely become perfect people
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing an adult ever does

Children's behavior can correct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adult. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
educated
correctly
they will find their place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have meaningful
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
conversation


This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are brought
up
properly
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they will definitely find their place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not know what they are doing in childhood. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the difference between truth and
This word is normally spelled as one.
false hood
. In such a situation if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the right way the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be able to distinguish between truth and falsehood in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Also
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, a culture of manner's property, to stay away from evil, to be kind to everyone and never to brag,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
surely
become perfect in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. And most
importantly
find their place. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
or what they do is all reflected in the upbringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by adults.

Secondly
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
properly
brought up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be able to have a nice conversation in public in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. If they have a profession in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they will understand and how to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and respect them. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what they will say in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. They grow up not to offend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and most
importantly
, to be able to have a nice conversation. Such educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by everyone and most
importantly
, they
are respected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the right up bringing from a young
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
age


To conclude
, I believe if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
properly
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they will
surely
become perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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IELTS essay Raising children is the most important thing an adult ever does. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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