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Railways system in 3 countries

Railways system in 3 countries 3AJr5
As you can see, the London underground railway is the oldest system, having been opened in 1863. It also the largest system with 394 kilometres of route. The second-largest system, in Paris, is only about half the size of that in London, with 199 kilometres of route. However, the annual passengers using Paris’ s subways is nearly double London’s. While only third in terms of size, the Tokyo system is easily the most used, with 1928 million passengers per year.
As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the London underground railway is the oldest
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system
, having
been opened
in 1863. It
also
the largest
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system
with 394
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
of route. The second-largest
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system
, in Paris, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about half the size of that in London, with 199
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
of route.
However
, the annual passengers using Paris’ s subways is
nearly
double London’s. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
third in terms of size, the Tokyo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
easily
the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, with 1928 million passengers per year.
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IELTS essay Railways system in 3 countries

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
80 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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