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Uniforms should be banned from schools as it distracts the children's personality. Do you agree or disagree about statement.Give your view?

Uniforms should be banned from schools as it distracts the children's personality. Give your view? x2KwQ
Uniform is a mandatory constituent of schools in most of the countries and children are obligated to wear uniforms during school hours. It is a controversial issue that some people believe that children should have a freedom to dress up according to their own choice, as pupils behaviour will be diverted. Personally, I strongly believe that uniform has social and ethical significance on students and should be a mandatory part of their education. There is a no doubt that uniform has substantial impact on children. It gives them a feeling that they belong to same group of people, thus help in creating strong bonding with each other. In addition to this, uniform eliminate discrimination among students, as both rich and poor students are obligated to dress in a same way. Furthermore, people easily distinguish students of school and they can give them extra benefit like; discount on bus tickets, book, etc. Moreover, wearing a school uniform is maintain the specific School identification from other schools. It also, reduces the partiality among students, so pupil can feel comfortable and Unity in the classroom. Finally, uniform can be decrease the burden of buying new clothes for their children, as it would be an additional expense for poor people. In conclusion, I would like to say that uniform is an essential part of schooling and should not be neglected at any cost. It gives them the impression that they belong to the same family and this makes them thrive in their studies and sports.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Uniform
is a mandatory constituent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in most of the countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obligated
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours. It is a controversial issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
to dress up according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice, as pupils
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
be diverted
.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has social and ethical significance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and should be a mandatory part of their education.

There is a no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has substantial impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It gives them a feeling that they belong to same group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating strong bonding with each other.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
eliminate discrimination among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, as both rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are obligated
to dress
Consider replacing "in a same way" with the adverb for "same"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a same way
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
distinguish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they can give them extra benefit like; discount on bus tickets, book, etc.

Moreover
, wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is
Consider using a past participle here: "maintained".
maintain
the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
identification from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. It
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the partiality among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pupil can feel comfortable and Unity in the classroom.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
can be decrease the burden of buying new clothes for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as it would be an additional expense for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is an essential part of schooling and should not
be neglected
at any cost. It gives them the impression that they belong to the same family and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them thrive in their studies and sports.
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IELTS essay Uniforms should be banned from schools as it distracts the children's personality. Give your view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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