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r u going to inherit to their children that house is more convenient than renting

r u going to inherit to their children that house is more convenient than renting VwWAK
Nowadays, the case which own a house is more convenient than renting one. Due to the fact that, they cannot do every thing such as buying something or reconstructing. I believe that this case can be beneficial owing to inherit to their children them. On the one hand, society can not prefer to inhabit a renting house. The main reason can be that if they like the color which isn't suitable for house, in that case, people cannot do anything because renters aren't allowed to you do this kind of action in the their building. As a result, it makes people angry because of this. Namely, they cannot rebuild house in terms of their taste. As renter can get back house in case the tenant suggests high quality money for house. Thirdly, as I am mentioned above, they have to live the same house, they cannot construct something in this house. On the other hand, due to having a residency can be the great way. The main reasons are that they can build the house due to modern design. In addition, they can inherit this property even to their grandchild. For example, if you have an own house, you can buy everything like freeze or anything. Furthermore, you can reconstruct if necessary. If people live in their own apartment or floor, they do not have to move another house every month in case the money is not enough. In conclusion, today's people can own a home rather than rent one. I personally claim that this is essential in our life because we can live freely.
Nowadays, the case which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is more convenient than renting one. Due to the fact that, they cannot do every thing such as buying something or reconstructing. I believe that this case can be beneficial owing to inherit to their children them.

On the one hand, society can not prefer to inhabit a renting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. The main reason can be that if they like the color which isn't suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
in that case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot do anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
renters aren't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to you do this kind of action in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their building" or "the building"?
the their building
.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
angry
because of this
.
Namely
, they cannot rebuild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in terms of their taste. As renter can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in case the tenant suggests high quality money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Thirdly
, as I
am mentioned
above, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, they cannot construct something in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

On the other hand
, due to having a residency can be the great way. The main reasons are that they can build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
due to modern design.
In addition
, they can inherit this property even to their grandchild.
For example
, if you have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything like freeze or anything.
Furthermore
, you can reconstruct if necessary. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment or floor, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
every month in case the money is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home
rather
than rent one. I
personally
claim that this is essential in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
.
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IELTS essay r u going to inherit to their children that house is more convenient than renting

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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