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the effects of social networking sites on Vietnamese youngsters

the effects of social networking sites on Vietnamese youngsters alO9G
Theseday, in Viet Nam, young people cannot imagine life without Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube or other social networking sites. The extensive use of social networking sites in Viet Nam has been on the rise among the new generation youths. Since social networks first appeared, it has transformed human lives dramatically. It brings many benefits to Vietnamese youngster in education, awareness, social relations and job opportunities. First and foremost, in education, social network helps in better colloboration and communication between teachers and students. In the past, if students want to discuss with teacher or friends outside school hours, they need to wait until the next class or make an appointment at coffee shop. However, after the social networking sites have been published, students don’t need to wait for the next class, they just send messenger to teacher, friends via Email, Facebook. Social network also supports students to learn better, faster with access to online resources. And especially, you can join in online courses from other countries via social networking sites without moving to this. With the emergence of social networking sites, it leads to expand more social relations. Social network grant people to communicate with everybody all around the world and this give people opportunites to making new friends. According to the research, nearly 64% of teens who have made a new friend online say they have met new friends on social media platform. Moreover, social networking sites helped find and keep in touch with friends who are geographically far off. In conclusion, social networking sites have affected positively on Vietnamese youngsters in whole subjects as education, awareness, social relations and job oppoturnities. However the effect of social networking not only in subjects have been concerned but also depends on the ways you use social networking sites for.
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Theseday
, in
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Viet
Nam, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot imagine life without Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,
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Youtube
or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. The extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam has been on the rise among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation youths. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
first
appeared, it has transformed human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
dramatically
. It brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to Vietnamese youngster in education, awareness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations and job opportunities.

First
and foremost, in education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in better
Possible spelling mistake found.
colloboration
and communication between teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In the past, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to discuss with teacher or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
outside school hours, they need to wait until the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an appointment at coffee shop.
However
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
been published
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don’t need to wait for the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messenger to teacher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
via Email, Facebook.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
also
supports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn better, faster with access to online resources. And
especially
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in online courses from other countries via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
without moving to this.

With the emergence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, it leads to expand more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
grant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to communicate with everybody all around the world and this give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. According to the research,
nearly
64% of teens who have made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
online say they have met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media platform.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
find and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who are
geographically
far off.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
positively
on Vietnamese youngsters in whole subjects as education, awareness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations and job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppoturnities
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in subjects have
been concerned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
depends on the ways you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
for.
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IELTS essay the effects of social networking sites on Vietnamese youngsters

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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