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people in society work in many different settings and for a variety of reasons what do you think is the main reasons why peoplr have jobs?

people in society work in many different settings and for a variety of reasons what do you think is the main reasons why peoplr have jobs? 73OlA
Everyone have different feelings and interest towards something. A number of people, adore to run their own business while others like to do jobs. Besides, this everyone has main reasons, which i will explore in the following paragraphs. First, people think it is good for them to have jobs because one can't feel bored or depressed as they were busy in their work. An individual do jobs for feel happier about their life. To drop from my own experience, a couple of years ago, one of my neighbour offer me a job which is related to social work and fortunately, i love doing work or involved in social work. The day when i joined in this activities, i feel so peaceful and happiest one. Secondly, A number of people in this world do jobs to save money for their future. Some becomes compelled to work even if it is out of their interest because of poverty. From my own point of view, one become constrain, to work for their children, to eliminate the margin of poverty. On the other hand, As we know everyone has different interest. A couple of people may have different skills. some wants to learn nee skills. Many people involved in different works to enhance their skills. To drag from my own experience, i teach some students in past year. When i used to tutor them, i gain extra knowledge. I get a chance to enhance my communication skills. In conclusion, their are many people and they have variety of reasons to do work. some individual work for their satisfication, to save money for future use or to develop nee skills. I think, most of the people do jobs to save money for future use.
Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
feelings and interest towards something. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, adore to run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business while others like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Besides
, this everyone has main reasons, which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will explore in the following paragraphs.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can't feel bored or depressed as they were busy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. An individual do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for feel happier about their life. To drop from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, a couple of years ago, one of my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
offer me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
is related
to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
fortunately
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or involved in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The day when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
peaceful and happiest one.

Secondly
, A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this world do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to save money for their future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
becomes compelled to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even if it is out of their interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poverty. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view, one become constrain, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their children, to eliminate the margin of poverty.

On the other hand
, As we know everyone has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
interest. A couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
wants to learn
'nee' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "née"
nee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
works to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. To drag from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students in past year. When
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tutor them,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
gain extra knowledge. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enhance my communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they have variety of reasons to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisfication
, to save money for future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or to develop
'nee' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "née"
nee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to save money for future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS essay people in society work in many different settings and for a variety of reasons what do you think is the main reasons why peoplr have jobs?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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