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QUESTION - THE GROWTH OF ONLINE SHOPPING WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO ALL SHOPS IN TOWNS & CITIES CLOSING. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

QUESTION - THE GROWTH OF ONLINE SHOPPING WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO ALL SHOPS IN TOWNS & CITIES CLOSING. Q8A2K
E-Commerce industry is currently the most blooming industry in business. With advancement in ecommerce we all have witnessed that there is a drastic shift of consumers from offline buying to online buying. I would totally agree with this fact that the day is not far when this sector will develop so much that it will eradicate all local shops and service centres. As per recent survey conducted by one of the leading market research firm it was concluded that around 65% of purchases were made online last year. This is evidence that reflects a drastic change in consumer behaviour & buying pattern. In recent times, focus of customers is more inclined towards ease and comfortless buyinig. Customers prefer buying products and services without stepping out of their home. Also currently IT sector is growing so rapidly that with just a click of button we can see features, price, colours & quality of product however describing same thing offline consume time and manpower and also can lead to confusions. If we compare advantages of online and offline buying, one of the major advantage will be getting reviews globally from users of that product. Also I would say COVID-19 is cherry on the cake for Ecommerce industry. Due to Social distancing norms & fear of COVID people are gradually moving towards online buying. Before COVID, younger population were involved much in online shopping but with COVID becoming our new life, customer base of ecommerce industry have increased & older generation is also now getting attracted towards buying online as it is safer. There are two basic pillars of Ecommerce industry which are IT & Logistics and with advancements in IT industry & strengthening of Logistics infrastructure online shopping would be the new normal. In turn we won't be seeing any local shops in cities and towns due to no demand or due to minimal demand. Maintaining shops involve various expenses such as rent, electricity, maintenance etc. and with decrease in demand it will be difficult for shopkeepers to earn profits hence resulting in shutting down. Also as we know that drones have entered in the market and this will be used by Ecommerce industry as their competitive advantage. This will convert standard delivery time from days to hours & minutes. Hence people will prefer to buy products in one click and getting it delivered at their doorstep. To conclude, I would say that shops are at verge of extension as per current industrial scenario. It's important that we protect our local shopkeepers by instead of shifting totally on online buying, we give preference to offline buying also purchase of daily use products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
E-Commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is
currently
the most blooming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in business. With advancement in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecommerce
we all have witnessed that there is a drastic shift of consumers from offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
. I would
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that the day is not far when this sector will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that it will eradicate all local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and service
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per recent survey conducted by one of the leading market research firm it
was concluded
that around 65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
were made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
last year. This is evidence that reflects a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
pattern. In recent times, focus of customers is more inclined towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and comfortless
Possible spelling mistake found.
buyinig
. Customers prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services without stepping out of their home.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
currently
IT sector is growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
that with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click of button we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
features, price,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
& quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
however
describing same thing offline consume time and manpower and
also
can lead to confusions. If we compare advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
, one of the major advantage will be getting reviews globally from users of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I would say COVID-19 is cherry on the cake for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ecommerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. Due to Social distancing norms & fear of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
gradually
moving towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
, younger population
were involved
much in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
becoming our new life, customer base of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecommerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
have increased & older generation is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
getting attracted towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as it is safer.

There are two basic pillars of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ecommerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
which are IT & Logistics and with advancements in IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
& strengthening of Logistics infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping would be the new normal. In
The comma is probably missing here: "turn, we".
turn we
won't be seeing any local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in cities and towns due to no demand or due to minimal demand. Maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
involve various expenses such as rent, electricity, maintenance etc. and with decrease in demand it will be difficult for shopkeepers to earn profits
hence
resulting in shutting down.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
as we know that drones have
There isn't usually a preposition after "entered". Did you mean "entered the market"?
entered in the market
and this will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ecommerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
as their competitive advantage. This will convert standard delivery time from days to hours & minutes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in one click and getting it delivered at their doorstep.

To conclude
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are at verge of extension as per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
industrial scenario. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we protect our local shopkeepers by
instead
of shifting
totally
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
, we give preference to offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay QUESTION - THE GROWTH OF ONLINE SHOPPING WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO ALL SHOPS IN TOWNS & CITIES CLOSING.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
440 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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