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Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v.2

Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 2
While some argue that university students ought to choose preferred subjects, others think what they learn should be inextricably entwined to some practical areas. I reckon that it is more important for them to study something wanted. It' s understandable that useful subjects should be studied by college students. Because it' s a person with limited and energy and he or she is required to adapt the inevitably changing world. He or she need to optimize their resources in university, which means learning some scientific or technical knowledge and skills is essential. Computer science, for example, without a doubt is a demanding and handy subject which can be connected to machine learning or even artificial intelligence which we need compellingly in the future. Although it is reasonable to learn practical curriculum at school, I agree with the view that subjects had better be specified as per students' eagerness. Multifarious points could endorse the opinion. Firstly, college students will be more passionate in learning preferred areas. And they may learn their own fields more efficiently, even can extend some new branches related to their professions. For instance, archaeology may be a less handy subject compared to science and technology. However, in the modern era, some scholars have already applied it to deter crime, by figuring out human' s regular activities then mixing it up with big data as well as data mining even AI. It would be beneficial for public security. By contrast, if students don' t like or even detest specific curriculum, they might give no energy so that they can not utilize this knowledge or skills, despite these subjects seem practical. To recapitulate, while it is sometimes true for college students learn what will be drown upon in the long run, I believe they should study whatever that love and give passion into.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to choose preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
should be
inextricably
entwined to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical areas. I reckon that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to study something wanted.

Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s understandable that useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be studied
by college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s a person with limited and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
energy and
he or she
is required
to adapt the
inevitably
changing world. He or she need to optimize their resources in university, which means learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific or technical knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is essential. Computer science,
for example
, without a doubt is a demanding and handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which can
be connected
to machine learning or even artificial intelligence which we need
compellingly
in the future.

Although it is reasonable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
practical curriculum at school, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
had better
be specified
as per
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; eagerness. Multifarious points could endorse the opinion.
Firstly
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be more passionate in learning preferred areas. And they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fields more
efficiently
, even can extend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new branches related to their professions.
For instance
, archaeology may be a less handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
compared to science and technology.
However
, in the modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars have already applied it to deter crime, by figuring out
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s regular activities then mixing it up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
data
as well
as data mining even AI. It would be beneficial for public security. By contrast, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t like or even detest specific curriculum, they might give no energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can not utilize this knowledge or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, despite these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
seem practical.

To recapitulate, while it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
true for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
what will be
Consider using the past participle "drowned"?
drown
upon in the long run, I believe they should study whatever that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and give passion into.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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