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Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v.1

Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 1
What to study at university has attracted different opinions. While some people argue that students can study subjects of their choice, other think that universities should only offer certain key subject areas. I personally believe that everyone should be able to choose their areas of study. There are various reasons why people believe that students should be forced to study subjects that will be useful in the future. They might assert that the subjects like science and technology have been among the core fields of the development of the world. For example, the healthcare sector always needs scientific research to figure new methods and medicine to cure diseases and help people live more healthily. Additionally, since the world will focus more on science and technology in the future, there will be more job opportunities in these sectors. Thus, it is easier for those who take these courses to have greater career prospects. However, from personal perspectives, students should have freedom to pick the majors of their choice. It is because everyone has their own dream careers and they should choose the course that benefits their future profession. To be precise, it is better for those who want to be a teacher to study pedagogy rather than IT. Furthermore, students feel more motivated when studying what they are fond of. Passions are of importance to succeed in life. Therefore, it is vital to pursue education with enthusiasm and success will eventually follow. Lastly, every subject can contribute visibly to society which is created by various areas, including social sciences and arts, besides science and technology. If doctors save patients’ lives, painters enrich people’s mind and heart through their paintings and they are equally significant. To conclude, there are several certain advantages of studying certain key subjects like science and technology. However, it is still better if students follow their passion and study what they are interested in. By doing that, they can both become successful in their life and contribute to the society.
What to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at university has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their choice, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that universities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offer certain key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
areas. I
personally
believe that everyone should be able to choose their areas of study.

There are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that will be useful in the future. They might assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have been among the core fields of the development of the world.
For example
, the healthcare sector always needs scientific research to figure new methods and medicine to cure diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
healthily
.
Additionally
, since the world will focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the future, there will be more job opportunities in these sectors.
Thus
, it is easier for those who take these courses to have greater career prospects.

However
, from personal perspectives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have freedom to pick the majors of their choice. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dream
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
careers and
they should choose the course that benefits their future profession. To be precise, it is better for those who want to be a teacher to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
pedagogy
rather
than IT.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel more motivated when studying what they are fond of. Passions are of importance to succeed in life.
Therefore
, it is vital to pursue education with enthusiasm and success will
eventually
follow.
Lastly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can contribute
visibly
to society which
is created
by various areas, including social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and arts,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. If doctors save patients’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, painters enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind and heart through their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
paintings and
they are
equally
significant.

To conclude
, there are several certain advantages of studying certain key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
However
, it is
still
better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
follow their passion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
what they
are interested
in. By doing that, they can both become successful in their life and contribute to the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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