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Question--Some people say that TV Advertisement have benefits, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include examples from your experience v.1

Question--Some people say that TV Advertisement have benefits, while others believe the opposite. 1
Nowadays, it has undeniable that advertisements play an important role in the life of an individual. Therefore, one can easily see advert on various media is ranging from print media to electronic media. Some people said that tv advertisements are beneficial for the people, whereas other thought it has a bad impact on the human's daily life. This essay will discuss why broadcasted ads are more benefited as compared to the negative impact of these on the people's mind. On the one hand, commercialization of products is making the people easy to choose best from the various choices. Therefore, these are helping in deciding the better from the variety of items. For instance, some people like to buy those products which are featured by their favourite stars, they have the clear vision for purchasing the goods. Moreover, advertisement of the goods helps the people to increase their knowledge about the recent items in the market. As a result an individual like to buy the updated version of that valuable good. In addition, most of the population spent considerable time in front of electronic media such as television. Thus, this made easy for the company to promote their product among the public. Therefore Tv advertisement useful for both public and companies. On the other hand, it has negative side that, the company does not give full information about the product. Therefore, an agency is only showing its bright side to draw attention of people, but another dark side remains covered. For instance, some people buy the valuable items just because of emphasis on positive sided. But, later they felt helpless due to no further use of that product. Secondly, some advert companies to attract people used some unethical and unacceptable method in the advertisement. Consequently, which has a bad impact on our society. For example, commercialisation of drug such as nicotine has encouraged the people for smoking. Therefore, there is some negative impact of tv broadcast of things which damage our society. To conclude, tv advertisement creates the awareness among people about the latest product and keep them up to date, also offers to choose best. Whereas, it also has a detrimental impact on the individual as well as on society. But according to me it is helpful for the public if companies advertise their product with honesty and not promote the things that are unacceptable in the society.
Nowadays, it has undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the life of an individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, one can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advert on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is ranging from print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the human's daily life. This essay will discuss why broadcasted ads are more benefited as compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of these on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind.

On the one hand, commercialization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easy to choose best from the various choices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, these are helping in deciding the better from the variety of items.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are featured
by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
stars, they have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
vision for purchasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Moreover
,
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to increase their knowledge about the recent items in the market.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result an individual like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the updated version of that valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
In addition
, most of the population spent considerable time in front of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as television.
Thus
, this made easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
among the public.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
useful for both public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
does not give full information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, an agency is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
showing its bright side to draw attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another dark side remains covered.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the valuable items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of emphasis on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sided.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, later they felt helpless due to no
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unethical and unacceptable method in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Consequently
, which has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on our society.
For example
,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('commercialisation' and 'commercialization') within a single text.
commercialisation
of drug such as nicotine has encouraged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for smoking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
broadcast of things which damage our society.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates the awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up to date,
also
offers to choose best. Whereas, it
also
has a detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the individual
as well
as on society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to me it is helpful for the public if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with honesty and not promote the things that are unacceptable in the society.
26Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Question--Some people say that TV Advertisement have benefits, while others believe the opposite. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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