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Some people say that TV advertisements have benefits, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include examples from your experience. v.2

Some people say that TV advertisements have benefits, while others believe the opposite. v. 2
Advertisements play a vital role in selling of products. One of the most controversial issues today relates to that, television endorsement; either have more merits or demerits? In the further piece of essay, I am going to explore all the dimensions of the given topic through some examples and assertions and shape up my opinion by the end. The first step to understand that, why some people think that television have more pessimistic impacts? Broadly speaking, the prominent reason is fake products. There are many products which have fascinating designs as shown in the advertisements but when they are bought they are extremely dull. For instance, in a recent survey of advertising companies it was illustrated that, 60% of the people believe that products are neither similar nor work properly to the product shown in television broadcast. In addition, another reason for believing this is pressure. There are many advertisements on television which attracts many children easily and they become stubborn to buy these products which build up a pressure on parents. Similarly, these types of broadcast also manipulate people so badly and become an reason for negative impact. However, there are some people who think that these commercial adds on television have more optimistic impact. Why do they think so? The foremost reason popularity. They say that, commercial adds make the products well known and increases its selling. People often buy products which are in trend and mostly recommended by others. Moreover, the second fundamental reason is that, advertisements provides information about plethora of products which gives us right to choose the best product. For example, cornflakes have a variety of flavours for different ranges to offer for different age groups and now also for people want to lose weight, hence it provides several choices to select from. In conclusion, I tend to believe that, both the aspects are convincing and advertising is significant as well but there are some steps that should be taken by government and they should make stringent laws against the companies which provide fake products and must ban products which manipulate children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
play a vital role in selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
endorsement; either have more merits or demerits? In the
further
piece of essay, I am going to explore all the dimensions of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples and assertions and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

The
first
step to understand that, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have more pessimistic impacts?
Broadly
speaking, the prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which have fascinating designs as shown in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
they are
extremely
dull.
For instance
, in a recent survey of advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
it
was illustrated
that, 60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are neither similar nor work
properly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
shown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
broadcast.
In addition
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for believing this is pressure. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easily and
they become stubborn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which build up a pressure on parents.
Similarly
, these types of broadcast
also
manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
badly
and become
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have more optimistic impact. Why do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
? The foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
popularity. They say that, commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
well known and increases its selling.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are in trend and
mostly
recommended by others.
Moreover
, the second fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
provides information about plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which gives us right to choose the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
, cornflakes have a variety of
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ranges to offer for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to lose weight,
hence
it provides several choices to select from.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that, both the aspects are convincing and advertising is significant
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps that should
be taken
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
government and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stringent laws against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which provide fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which manipulate children.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that TV advertisements have benefits, while others believe the opposite. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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