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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and e v.21

Question: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and e v. 21
Parents have always a pivotal impact on children' s decisions. They not only make a significant contribution to their physical growth, but also play an important role in the development of children' s personality. This mater that whether young people are more independent than before is a controversial issue between individuals. Some people think that today, young people can make good decisions independently. I totally agree with this idea for two main reasons which I will explain in the following essay. The first noteworthy point regarding this issue is that with the advent of computer and internet and the development of technology, there are more chance for young people to make a valuable decision. They can search for different subjects on the internet, increase their knowledge about that topic, read about the people' s experiences and then choose the best option concerning their subject. For example, before going to the university and choosing the best major for my future I could gain my information about the various majors and how much they can be practical in the future. Now, I am very happy about my job which I choose it independently. Second, parents have changed their manner toward raising the children. They provide a good situation for their children to be more independent and let them to try everything at least for once. For instance, young people have a job since they are eighteen years old. It has a good impact on the formation of their personality. They can learn how to manage their money, how to deal with the problems and finally how to choose the best way for themselves. All in all, by considering the mentioned reasons above, I personally think that today, young people are capable of making a decision independently. This is owing to the fact that there are some advanced ways for getting information from them, and parents' attitude toward the children' s upbringing has changed over time.
Parents have always a pivotal impact on
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children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to their physical growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s personality. This mater that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more independent than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is a controversial issue between individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
independently
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for two main reasons which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following essay.

The
first
noteworthy point regarding this issue is that with the advent of computer and internet and the development of technology, there are more chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. They can search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects on the internet, increase their knowledge about that topic, read about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s experiences and then choose the best option concerning their subject.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to the university and choosing the best major for my future I could gain my information about the various majors and how much they can be practical in the future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy about my job which I choose it
independently
.

Second, parents have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their manner toward raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them to try everything at least for once.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a job since they are eighteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. It has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on the formation of their personality. They can learn how to manage their money, how to deal with the problems and
finally
how to choose the best way for themselves.

All in all, by considering the mentioned reasons above, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capable of making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
independently
. This is owing to the fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advanced ways for getting information from them, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; attitude toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s upbringing has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and e v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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