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q1: What person who is alive today would you most like to meet. Use reasons and details to support your response. v.1

q1: What person who is alive today would you most like to meet. Use reasons and details to support your response. v. 1
Nowadays, The people are getting easily engaged with all the recent technology devices such as laptop, computer, and their mobile phones too. Therefore, It is quite reliable for some to do their jobs at home. But, As we know, There are both pros and cons related with it. Firstly, There are an advantages to working at home specifically for some people, They feel comfortable compare to their office. Also, They are doing so many different things with their jobs for working at home. Furthermore, They spent their quality time apart from their work with their family. So, These all kind of social daily life with their jobs working at home is well good for some publicity. On the other hand, There are very high cons comparable to pros according to my knowledge. Secondly, working jobs at home, The person disturbs by chaos and noises from their neighbours and from their family too. Recently, research shows that the percentage of citizens who are working jobs at home have higher rates of laziness ratio than the working staff in industries and companies. Moreover, The environment with feels connected with their peers and superiors have a lack of the jobs which at home. They feel lazy at home and not doing their work with them maximum concentration. So that, The output from their side is getting low. In addition, The percentage of efficiency to complete work done with their jobs is comparatively low in their jobs which is work from home. For example, If there is any cricket match against Pakistan or any other country, the percentage of fulfil daily challenges of their jobs at home is exponentially low compare to another employee. To conclude, I suggest neutrally from my point of view that, At both places of the workplace, there are pros and cons and also positive and negative effect. But, The disadvantages are higher compare to advantages from the jobs at home. So, I totally agree with my statements.
Nowadays, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting
easily
engaged with all the recent technology devices such as laptop, computer, and their mobile phones too.
Therefore
, It is quite reliable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, As we know, There are both pros and cons related with it.

Firstly
, There are
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an advantage" or simply "advantages"?
an advantages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
specifically
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, They feel comfortable compare to their office.
Also
, They are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home.
Furthermore
, They spent their quality time apart from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, These all kind of social daily life with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
publicity.

On the other hand
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high cons comparable to pros according to my knowledge.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home, The person disturbs by chaos and noises from their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and from their family too. Recently, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the percentage of citizens who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home have higher rates of laziness ratio than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
staff in industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Moreover
, The environment with feels connected with their peers and superiors have a lack of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which at home. They feel lazy at home and not doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with them maximum concentration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, The output from their side is getting low.
In addition
, The percentage of efficiency to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is
comparatively
low in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.
For example
, If there is any cricket match against Pakistan or any other country, the percentage of fulfil daily challenges of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home is
exponentially
low compare to another employee.

To conclude
, I suggest
neutrally
from my point of view that, At both places of the workplace, there are pros and cons and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, The disadvantages are higher compare to advantages from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with my statements.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q1: What person who is alive today would you most like to meet. Use reasons and details to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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