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Public transportation could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change. v.3

Public transportation could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change. v. 3
Public transportation is used on a daily basis by people all over the society. Thus, there must be fees for using it, because it needs regular maintenance to the engine, gearbox, and also battery and tire exchange. So, there will be a lot of drawbacks if it becomes for free. Firstly, public transportation like buses or trains are working all over the day and the majority of people rely on them to travel to their work, go out with family or friends, and sending their children to schools. Hence, it cannot stop working or even pause. For instance, there are workers who apply a train to arrive to their work daily and there is no other way to go there, but the train, if the employees would not go to the firm, the whole organisation may stop. Moreover, that will affect the income of that company as a normal result. Furthermore, people will care about the quality and cleanness of the transportation, because they pay to get the service. Nevertheless, changing it to be free, consequently, it will wisely utilize. For example, if public use it without paying, they will not care about the conditions of chairs that they use, In fact, there are two main questions, how can the government cover the payment of the reconstruction of all buses and trains in the nation, if public exploit it on bad manner? , and what about the tourists who will use it when they visit the country? . To conclude, people must play an active and a positive role in the community by helping the government to give them a high quality service that they deserve.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
transportation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on a daily basis by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the society.
Thus
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be fees for using it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it needs regular maintenance to the engine, gearbox, and
also
battery and tire exchange.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drawbacks if it becomes for free.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation like buses or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are working all over the day and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on them to travel to their work, go out with family or friends, and sending their children to schools.
Hence
, it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working or even pause.
For instance
, there are workers who apply a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
to arrive to their work daily and there is no other way to go there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, if the employees would not go to the firm, the whole
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.
Moreover
, that will affect the income of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as a normal result.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will care about the quality and cleanness of the transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pay to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the service.
Nevertheless
, changing it to be free,
consequently
, it will
wisely
utilize.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it without paying, they will not care about the conditions of chairs that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, In fact, there are two main questions, how can the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cover the payment of the reconstruction of all buses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
in the nation, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
exploit it on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manner?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
and what about the tourists who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it when they visit the country?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
play an active and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role in the community by helping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to give them a high quality service that they deserve.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Public transportation could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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