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public health and obesity problems

public health and obesity problems 30krn
The number of people who suffers from obesity is at an alarming rate in most countries. Treating obesity and other implications caused by being overweight is becoming challenging for the health care systems. Some people suggest increasing the hours of PE classes in schools to prevent these issues. I strongly agree with this statement. As numerous studies indicate, obesity and similar eating disorders usually root from childhood and childhood habits. Introducing children to sports at an early age would inspire them to get healthier habits. Encouraging them to play sports might help children to adapt to a more active lifestyle and would be a huge step getting in the way of excessive weight gain in childhood. Therefore, providing serious physical education in schools would be highly effective for this public health issue. According to some authorities, being overweight is closely connected to economical problems and poor life quality that comes with it. For instance, foods that are linked to weight gain most (such as bread, pasta and other carbohydrate sources) are usually the most affordable choices in supermarkets. Since unhealthy food options are more accessible and attending private sports classes are expensive, obesity rapidly increases in poor communities. With more PE lessons in schools, unfortunate children would have more chances to participate in sports. Therefore, providing an environment for the children who could not possibly afford a gym or another sports club membership is an excellent way to tackle obesity problems caused by financial inequalities. To sum it up, giving more space to PE lessons in curriculums would be highly beneficial to fight obesity and would mitigate the duties of the health care system. Helping children to engage more in sports at a young age would prevent them from unhealthy habits and would give chance to children from poor families to do sports without costing.
The number of
people
who suffers from obesity is at an alarming rate in most countries. Treating obesity and other implications caused by being overweight is becoming challenging for the health care systems.
Some
people
suggest increasing the hours of PE classes in schools to
prevent
these issues. I
strongly
agree
with this statement.

As numerous studies indicate, obesity and similar eating disorders
usually
root from childhood and childhood habits. Introducing
children
to
sports
at an early age would inspire them to
get
healthier habits. Encouraging them to play
sports
might
help
children
to adapt to a more active lifestyle and would be a huge step getting in the way of excessive weight gain in childhood.
Therefore
, providing serious physical education in schools would be
highly
effective for this public health issue.

According to
some
authorities, being overweight is
closely
connected to
economical
problems and poor life quality that
comes
with it.
For instance
, foods that
are linked
to weight gain most (such as bread, pasta and other carbohydrate sources) are
usually
the most affordable choices in supermarkets. Since unhealthy food options are more accessible and attending private
sports
classes are expensive, obesity
rapidly
increases in poor communities. With more PE lessons in schools, unfortunate
children
would have more chances to participate in
sports
.
Therefore
, providing an environment for the
children
who could not
possibly
afford a gym or another
sports
club membership is an excellent way to tackle obesity problems caused by financial inequalities.

To sum it up, giving more space to PE lessons in curriculums would be
highly
beneficial to fight obesity and would mitigate the duties of the health care system. Helping
children
to engage more in
sports
at a young age would
prevent
them from unhealthy habits and would give chance to
children
from poor families to do
sports
without costing.
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IELTS essay public health and obesity problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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